I hesitate to even write this entry because I'm afraid it will jinx me. Oh well...here we go...
I have just felt so content and really very blessed and grateful lately for my life. Earlier this week, I had a moment of realization. I had Paige in my arms while I was trying to fix dinner (it's always necessary for her to be held when I am trying to do something that requires two hands), and I turned around to see Austin at the table working on his homework, Greg was clearing the table so we could eat (I'm a "pile" person), and Macy was sitting up to the counter making the salt and pepper shakers "talk" to each other. It was almost as if time stopped, or at least moved in slow motion, and for just a moment, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that I got to be a part of this wonderful life. It just felt pleasant to be home, doing everyday things, and being surrounded by these wonderful people - the most important people in my life!
I watched a program earlier this week that illustrated how oppressed stay-at-home mothers are and how we are bound to our husband's word. As I thought about the program, I definitely feel like I chose this life. It made me think about a time in college when a professor of mine called me in to talk about my future. This particular professor was known for his difficult classes, and I had been warned not to take classes from him. But, in my second-to-last semester of school, I had no choice. His class fit into my schedule, and I needed it to graduate. I actually really enjoyed his class, even though he was tough. Near the end of the semester, he met with me and talked about how I really "got it." He wanted to help me apply to graduate schools, and he talked about different career options. He was very excited, which made me very excited. I remember telling Greg all about this professor and what he thought I could accomplish. I'll never forget his face when I was done telling him my very exciting news. We were in the kitchen in our condo. He looked at me and very cautiously said, "Well...that's great. But, if you are going to graduate school, when are we going to start a family." It really made me think. It was very intoxicating to have someone so prominent at the university believe in me. In the next few weeks, I made a conscious decision to be a "mom." Five months later, I was pregnant! Unfortunately, there isn't a "Mom University;" we just get to learn as we go. I'm trying to enjoy the journey a little more, and relish those "slow motion" moments.
This is Greg and I holding the pregnancy test that told us I was pregnant with Austin (kind of gross - I know). This was just a minute or two after we realized it was positive. Who are those young, innocent, deliriously happy people?!?