Halloween - Finally!

Halloween started on Thursday with Macy's preschool party, and continued well into Friday.  I actually substituted at Austin's school all day on Halloween, so Greg took the girls to visit his Grandma.  They recently moved her into a retirement center, and she isn't loving it (who can blame her).  They had trick-or-treating for the grandchildren/great-grandchildren that afternoon.  Hopefully, it brightened her day a little. 

I felt like Halloween was just crazy!  Working all day sure does shorten the day (I don't know how you "Working Moms" do it every day).  We got home from school, made some soup, carved some pumpkins, and it was time for trick-or-treating.  Since I didn't take any pictures that day, we dressed up for my grandparents on Sunday.  My mom made a festive "Dinner in a Pumpkin" and the kids got to show off their costumes.  Austin as Harry Potter, Macy as Dorothy, Paige as mouse, Abby as Belle, and Max as Tiger.  

Macy was hilarious!  She gets so excited over everything, and Halloween was no exception.  It took a very long time to decide on a costume.  I finally told her that she can be something different next year, and I think she has the next four years planned.  My wonderful mother made her little costume, and kudos to Target for Ruby Slippers.  When I got her ready, I put her up on the counter in the bathroom so she could see her entire outfit.  She said, "Oh, I really do look like Dorothy.  I wish I had black hair, then I would look just like her."  So dramatic!  She also thought this was her own, personal photo shoot.  (She came up with the poses, and my sisters were egging her on.)  Austin, on the other hand, was not amused with her "affection" for herself.  I love these guys!  Oh, and everyone fights over Max.  She insisted on one with just the two of them.  

Greg has been Father-of-the-Year the past couple of months.  After Macy and Paige are in bed, Greg has been reading the first Harry Potter with Austin.  Just the two of them.  Austin has been captivated, and turned into a Harry Potter fanatic.  Austin's costume was somewhat of a headache.  First of all, my mom found the cape at Walmart, and got a fabulous deal on it because it was missing the glasses and wand.  Thinking I was saving all sorts of money, I ordered all of his "props" online.  They guaranteed delivery by October 30th.  That is, until the train derailed and we didn't get the shipment until AFTER the school parade and party.  Thursday night, at 3:00 a.m., Greg was scouring local Walmart's for something to resemble Harry Potter glasses.  He finally found googly-eye glasses that were round and we popped out the googly eyes.  Then, he went out and cut a branch off our tree for the wand.  Austin was such a good sport.  I was glad we got the shipment, though, because I think he makes an absolutely perfect Harry Potter.

Abby was NOT all about her own photo shoot.  We finally decided that if we wanted a non-crying shot, she would have to be Belle with the Mentos.  Alexie made this beautiful dress (all by herself), and you should hear Abby sing "Little Town" from "Beauty and the Beast."  It is hilarious!  My favorite part is, "Marie...The baguettes."  When I asked Abby to dance for me, she turned around.  At least you get a 360-degree view of the dress and hair, right Lex?

Last, but certainly not least, my own little Flava Flav!  This rag-a-muffin absolutely insisted on having her picture taken just like the rest of them, but was having nothing to do with the mouse costume at this point.  

Lots of fun to dress up and lots of candy to rot our teeth.  Happy Halloween!

The Bible and Giving Birth

So, I've been reading the Bible and considering the fact that I really do want to have another baby.  I remember when we decided that we were ready to have our first baby.  We had been married for a little over a year, and Greg went to Texas to visit Steve for a week.  While he was gone, I remember having this feeling that it was time.  When I picked him up from the airport, I mentioned it, and he told me that he was just waiting for me.  I remember driving on I-2 15 to our little condo in Bountiful being practically giddy about this prospect.  Three months later, we had a positive pregnancy test.  I don't think I appreciated how "easy" it all was.  I was so excited to have Austin, and even though he was a fussy baby, I didn't know any different and I LOVED the first few years of his life.

Eight years later, I feel like I have to "mentally prepare" to decide to have a baby.  I know every doctor on the planet will tell me that having an epidural is not the result of my back pain/spasms after I give birth, but when my back really starts to ache or when I'm doing a really big yoga stretch, I can feel the exact point that the epidural was inserted.  So, shortly after Paige was born, I came to the conclusion that if I was to do it again, I would do it without the epidural.  I think I'm finally to the point where I can do it.  I dilated to 9 and three quarters with Austin (not knowingly) and to about eight with Macy, so I know a large majority of what I'm going up against.  I talked to my friend Sarah, who is a labor and delivery nurse.  She told me that she would be my doula, and she firmly believes in me.  I'm not so "firm" in my belief, but I think I can do it if I have to.  Then, I think of all the shots, miscarriage, the back pain, telling my dad, potty training, tantrums, increase noise level, teenage years, etc. and lets just say that I'm talking myself into pregnancy again.  It takes a big, multi-month pep talk to get me ready.  Once I'm ready, I have to begin the big, multi-month task of talking Greg into it.  Some days I miss the innocence/ignorance of that 24-year-old, giddy, young wife.

I've been reading the Bible, and I think of Eve a lot.  Here I am, gearing up for the possibility of four children and she had the task of populating the Earth.  She is, after all, "the mother of all living."  It blows my mind.  Reading the Bible is very difficult for me, and I don't understand a lot of what I read.  I should mention that I firmly believe that Eve knew what she was doing when she ate of the forbidden fruit.  I believe that she knew it was time for them to move on, to suffer joy and sorrow, and to bear children.  Even though we don't know how many children Eve had, I wonder what her births were like, being the first woman to experience it.  

My grandmother told my mother that giving birth was like "having a large bowel movement."  Her labors were incredibly short, not that painful, and she walked out of the hospital in her size 2 pants after every one of her five children.  After 30+ hours of labor with me, my own mother doesn't remember the last few hours and was apparently cursing the nurses and screaming so loudly that they were telling her to quiet down.  I love my mom so much, and I love that she can laugh about this all these years later.  But, she was mad - downright angry - at her own mother for insinuating that having a baby was at the same pain level as big poop.  After all, have any of you ever had an 8-pound bowel movement?  (You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.)  

Even though I was once told by a gynecologist that I have "excellent birthing hips" (I'm pretty sure he meant it as a compliment, but it was hard to take it as one), I know that some women have an easier time than me when it comes to birthing children, and some people have it so much worse.  I like to think, in the Gospel According to Emily, that the Lord had compassion on Eve.  I hope and pray that Eve's births were similar to my own grandmothers.  I hope and pray that angels surrounded her and helped her as she ventured into this unknown abyss of childbearing.  I guess, when I really think about Eve in the "dark and dreary world," having a baby without the luxuries of a hospital, doctor, modern medicine, stitches, indoor plumbing, AGPAR tests, and other women surrounding her, it's easier for me to "suck it up" and finish my own pep talk.  Now...I just have to convince my husband!  I wonder what Eve said to Adam?

I'd love to hear about your birthing experiences!

Oh, and I made the HUGE mistake of actually trying on my wedding dress last week.  Over dinner, Greg started telling the story of how we met and all about our wedding day.  The kids were quite fascinated and loved hearing all about it.  I decided to get my wedding dress out and model it.  What was I thinking?!?  I really, really thought I could fit into it.  I know I weigh less now than when I got married, but apparently I've added some overall mass.  I could only get the zipper half way up (apparently the majority of the mass has accumulated in the mid-section: Talk about love handles).  DANG!  I told Greg that I've traded in my waist for my children.  He laughed and said it was a good trade.  

This Year, I'm Not Voting for "Trunk or Treat"

Every Halloween I'm faced with the horrible reality that in less than 48 hours my house turns into its very own candy store.  Except for the fact that my kids don't have to "purchase" the candy, they just believe it is their own because they knocked on a few doors.  I am faced with the dilemma of already hyper children on constant sugar highs and constant sugar lows (which equates to A LOT of whining and tears).  So, since I have become SO disillusioned by politics in general (the rhetoric this year has been frustrating, to say the least), that I decided to run my own election.  Please feel free to "write in" your vote if you have an entirely different idea.  Please vote!  

Do I:

1. Ration the candy and only allow a few pieces a day after a well eaten plate of vegetables?  (Pros: Decrease the sugar high/low crashes.  Possibly make this candy stretch until Christmas.  Cons: Increase the probability of whining, begging, and negotiating to get more candy.  Possibly make this candy stretch until Christmas.)
2. Let them go at it, eat as much as they possible can, and watch the candy completely disappear in a couple of days.  (Pros: Candy is gone sooner which takes care of the dilemma.  I get out of cooking AT ALL for the entire weekend - Who is going to eat a "real meal" when they could have a Twix sandwich?  Cons: I have incredibly irritable, and possibly sick children all weekend.  They could possibly accumulate so much candy that it lasts more than two days and this feeding frenzy carries into the school week.)

Growing up, our best friends had to dump all of their candy into a collective, "Family" Candy dish.  I don't necessarily agree with this.  Growing up, whenever we got home from trick-or-treating, my dad would make us dump our bags out on the rug and he got to take whatever he wanted, "taxes" for living in the Shaffer Kingdom.  I definitely agree with this (now that I'm the parent, of course). 

Just my opinion on "Trunk-or-Treat:"  First of all, I completely understand the premise behind it (a safe place for kids to get candy), but I also don't like it.  First of all, the kids don't have to do anything.  With Trick-or-Treating, at least they have to walk around the neighborhood, make a social effort and knock on the door, and then act cute enough to hopefully score chocolate instead of Smarties.  With Trunk-or-Treat, they only have to take a few steps.  Plus, the same kids that go to the Ward-sponsored Trunk-or-Treat, invariably show up on my door for Trick-or-Treat.  It's like double-dipping, and I have to purchase twice the amount of candy.  

A couple more opinions: I do not give out candy to lazy teenagers that don't dress up, although I am more than happy to hand out yummies to anyone who makes an effort.  It bugs me to no end when I see a car pull up in front of my house, a carload of people get out (that I have never met), 15-20 people swarm my doorstep, then they get back in the car and drive (actually drive) to my next door neighbors house all of 10 feet away.  (p.s. I buy Smarties for those carloads.)

Now that I got all of that out of my system, I'm ready to put on my "happy face" and enjoy this holiday.  Happy Halloween everyone!

Photo Blog

Okay, so I changed the name of my photo blog.  At first I felt silly because I'm not really good enough to have a name for my photography, but I didn't really like having my last name on the blog linked to this blog.  So, I came up with Emmy B Photography (www.emmyBphotography.blogspot.com).  My mother and my grandpa still call me Emmy, so I used that with my last initial.  Is that just really dorky?  Is it too corny that it rhymes?  I don't know.  Any other suggestions?

In the meantime, go here to view my photos and read about an amazing family.

Completely Obsessed

As many in the blogging world/universe, I have become completely obsessed with the story of Stephanie and Christian Nielson.  Stephanie is the author of the famous blog, "The Nie Nie Dialogues."  She and her husband were in a plane crash in Arizona last August.  He was burnt about 35% of his body, and she was burnt about 83%.  Her sister, Courtney, is keeping up their story on her blog, cjanerun (see my sidebar for links).  I have been so touched by her story, and I have read her blog and her sister's religiously.  I feel a little silly being so caught up in the lives of people that I don't even know.  These people I've never met are changing my outlook on life.  If I never meet them in this life, I will line up in heaven to wrap my arms tightly around Page, Courtney, Lucy, Stephanie, Christian, and their entire family to thank them with all my heart for blessing my life via a strange little thing called the Internet.  

Jaimee Rose, a writer for The Arizona Republic, did a story on them and it is beautiful!  If you have a minute, I strongly encourage you to read this article.  Be ready to be edified, touched, uplifted, and I can almost guarantee you can't get through it without shedding a few tears (I shed more than just a few).  Afterward, please send a prayer, or two, their way.  

A Sister Is Held Even Closer

Parenting Hypothesis

I'm only 7 years into this parenting thing, and I am FAR from being any sort of expert. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: It seems like the more kids I have, the more I realize that I really know so little about what I'm doing. I've been thinking again (in other words, watch out for a long-winded, wordy post), and I've come up with a hypothesis about parenting, and I WANT YOUR OPINION.

When my kids were really little (infants to toddlers to early preschool-age), I could sort of "mold" their world for them. I am a routine person when it comes to babies. Admittedly, it has taken me longer to establish this routine with each child, and it is still unbelievably difficult for me to wake a sleeping baby when it comes time to pick up carpool. However, as a general rule: I believe in nap time; I believe in snack time; I believe in bedtime. When Austin was little, the kitchen opened for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as well as 10:30 a.m. for morning snack and 3:30 p.m. for afternoon snack. Otherwise, the kitchen was closed (with very few exceptions). All three of my kids have taken a morning and afternoon nap until about 14-months when it moves to one, longer afternoon nap. And, if you've ever read my blog, you know that all kids are in bed by 8 o'clock sharp! Most of this is for my sanity. Honestly, how many times a day can you clean the kitchen!?! And, as my mother used to say, "I turn into a witch at 8 o'clock." My point is that it was easy for me to establish the schedule for my kids. Personality, preference, etc. didn't really factor into the equation.

Now that my kids are getting older, I'm sensing a new parenting role. I'm now thinking that my main objective should shift. Instead of, "I know what is best for you, so I am going to establish an environment that will give you what you need," I'm thinking it should now be, "I'm going to do my very best to figure out what type of person you are so I we can create an environment together so you can be your best self." I'm not being clear; they sound like the same thing, but they are so, so different.

As each of you know, each child is different, so I find that I need to approach things differently with each of them. Whereas, I treated all my babies relatively the same. All babies have the same basic needs: food, sleep, hygiene, love and attention. But not all 7-year-olds need the same thing or need to be treated in the same way. The trick, and where I find I need to invest a lot of time, attention, and thought is figuring out who they are and what they need. Then, try our very best to give it to them.

I was listening to a talk show on the radio, and the host was talking about how people complain that they aren't a "Morning Person." Her assessment was that a statement like that is ridiculous. Get up early in the morning and start your day, and whalah, you are a Morning Person. I've thought about it, and I politely disagree. Lets compare my children using this example:

• When Austin wakes up in the morning, his eyes pop open, his body bounds out of bed in one motion, and he is immediately looking for something to do. It is not rare to find several "projects" waiting for him on the floor next to his bed (books to finish reading, a pile of Legos, markers with an old egg carton and masking tape, etc.) This is all done over about 10 seconds. One minute he's sound asleep (snoring even), and 10 seconds later, he's adding embellishments to a Lego ship.
  
• Macy likes to roll out of bed and get into our bed. After several minutes of snuggling and thumb-sucking, she is ready to ease into a conversation or request a song to be sung while she listens. After a few more minutes, a back-rub or two, she is ready to sit on the couch and sip some milk. This is all done over about a half an hour.
• Paige wakes up and talks to herself for about a minute in her crib. Whereupon, she becomes bored. She starts calling out: "Mom...Dad...All dumb, bed...All dumb, night-night." When we get her out, she smothers us with love (usually a hug, rubbing our faces, kissing our cheeks) and she immediately asks for "Bood" (food) or "Nummy." The girl wakes up famished and needs to eat every hour and half throughout the day.

This may be a silly example, but it is precisely why Austin does his homework and piano practice in the morning, and I don't even think about asking Macy to do a chore or anything productive until at least an hour's worth of "easing" into her day. Essentially the equivalent of having her morning coffee. All Miss Paige needs is a tummy full of oatmeal and she becomes the most pleasant creature on the planet. If this pattern stays true, when Macy is in 2nd Grade, it would be insanity for her to do her homework before school. Think of the anxiety, stress, and fights that would cause. For Paige, if we can just feed her first, then she can be productive (sounds like she takes after her mother).

On a more spiritual note, I attended a class on this at BYU Education Week. Ever since, I've been trying to notice what seems to "touch the soul" of each of my children. The teacher made the comment that for most children, it is NOT church attendance. That certainly doesn't mean that we don't go to church, but a 3-hour block on Sunday is usually not what is going to stir spiritual feelings or spark a testimony. This woman raised four boys, and when she was asked by a fellow mother of small children what she could do to make church more productive, this woman's response was, "Wait 30 years." It's so true! Here is what I've observed over the past few months:

• Greg gave Austin a Father's Blessing before school started. For anyone who has ever met Austin, you know that sitting still is not necessarily his forte. In fact, he seems to retain more information if he is doing something while listening. (There's that "do" word again - notice a pattern). But, he sat so quietly and listened so intently while Greg administered the blessing. He didn't move, and his eyes were closed and he was calm - at peace. Maybe this high-energy kid needs more blessings so Heavenly Father can speak to his soul. Stories also seem to work well for him.
• Macy seems touched by music. She is a NightMare during Primary (capital "N" capital "M"). She is a wanderer. If she sees a baby across the room, she wanders over and starts cooing at it. If she wants to play a game with a friend, she does it. Who cares if someone is telling a story in front of the room. Who cares if they are in the middle of a game. But, as she is getting ready for bed, or using the bathroom, or playing dollhouse, I can often hear her singing, "Tell Me the Stories of Jesus," or "I Love to See the Temple" or "I Am a Child of God." Music seems to speak to her soul.
• Paige - Well, I don't know yet. She is a little young still. But, she loves to pray. She kneels down with her arms folded and can sit quietly for an entire family prayer. She emphatically shouts "Amen" at the end. Maybe prayer - words - will be her "thing."
  

I've heard that the real "work" of parenting is during the Elementary Years. This is when the bulk of our teaching takes place. The early years are more care-giving, and by the time they reach the teenage years - well, let's just say it's more difficult to teach them. The teenage years are a time for them to experiment with what we taught them. (This is a Love & Logic Point of View - paraphrased of course.)

What do you think? How do you go about figuring out each individual child? How do you balance your time so that each child gets what they need, which is different than any other child?

How Random

Since we got home from vacation, life has slowly been returning to normal.  I did have to teach piano Monday afternoon, and for some reason I couldn't get the lights to work in our front room.  Later that night, I tried showing Greg, assuming that the lights were out.  It was dark outside at this point, so I brought him into the front room and started switching the light on and off to show him that it wasn't working.  We noticed that the kitchen light was going on and off when I flipped this switch.  Did someone sneak into our home and rewire while we were gone?!?  I have a sister-in-law and an aunt who swear that their homes are haunted, maybe ours is as well?!?  The kitchen switch still worked, but now we had the ability to turn the kitchen light off from the front room as well.  I guess that could be kind of handy, but not necessary.  It was hilarious!  Greg and I laughed and laughed.  Luckily, I married Mr. Handyman who had it all fixed in about 10 minutes.    

One More Thing...

My wonderfully talented friend, Jen, took family pictures for us while we were in St. George.  I'll post some too, but in the meantime, check them out here.  Thanks Jen!  You are AMAZING!  Wouldn't you agree!?!

Impromptu Vacation

10 Reasons Why I Am an Awesome Mom:

1. I married Greg, who is my partner in crime, and we conspired together and planned an entire vacation on a whim - about 3 days.  We waited until Sunday dinner to announce Disneyland, and instead of going home, we headed to St. George.
2. I loaded the car with movies, books on CD, and snacks, and the kids were very, VERY well behaved on the long drive.  They did so great that I promised them anything they wanted at Disneyland.  Macy walked away with a Princess necklace and a Princess Drawing Kit, while Austin picked out a Pirate's sword and gun.  
3. My most frequented ride at Disneyland was Winnie the Pooh, and I'm not complaining.  Every time the ride ended, Paige would clap and yell, "Yeah Poop!  Gen, Mommy, gen!"  Her eyes were so big and excited, so we walked around and rode the ride "gen" (again).
4. I made it almost an entire day (about 4:30 p.m.) until I said sternly, "Stop it right now or we're leaving and not coming back."  Not bad!
5. I stood in line for over an hour with a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old so Macy could hug Belle and Sleeping Beauty.  
6. I held my sobbing Macy while her taller brother and dad rode Indiana Jones and she had to sit on the sidelines.  But, we did ride Matterhorn and Space Mountain over and over again just for her.  
7. I allowed Macy to "live and learn" when she absolutely insisted on riding "Tower of Terror."  She broke into tears about halfway through the ride, and if you ask her about it now, she will adamantly insist that she hates it!
8. It was pretty warm, especially the 2nd day, so I allowed my kids to play in the fountain.  I think Paige was about two seconds to going all the way in.  They splashed and entertained themselves for a good 10 minutes.  
9. At the beach, I rolled my eyes and looked the other way while Paige bent over and took a bite of sand.  So gross!  She loves any dirt, sand, potting soil, etc.  I can't keep her away from it.  
10. I just sat on the sand and loved observing my kids relishing the "real" beach.  The water was freezing, but it didn't stop my little ones.  They giggled and screamed and splashed to their little hearts content.  We actually saw some dolphins at the beach!  It was so cool!

Paige: Waiting for Princesses, apparently chewing us out, and just checking her Voice Mail in-between rides.  

Paige chased the seagull around the entire beach calling, "Quack, quack" and making kissing noises with her mouth and beckoning her with her hand.  We do this with Molly (my sister's dog), so Paige just assumes that you do the same with every animal.  Hilarious!

We spent the rest of the week in St. George with our great friends.  It was so nice to just hang out with them and let our kids entertain each other.  Thanks for inviting us and being such incredible friends!

To "Kah-Wee" by Miss Paige, 19 months

Houston, We Have Take Off!

After 7.3 years of life, and approximately 3.4 years of owning a bike, Austin finally decided to ride it...without tears!  Yesterday, Austin (and his bike) were at a friend's house when he said, "Dad, will you help me ride my bike home?"  Greg put him on the bike, held him steady, and he just took off.  He rode up and down the street and around the block until the sun set and it was too dark to see.  He is now just as crazy about his bike as he is about his scooter!

When, WHEN will I learn that when Austin makes up HIS mind to do something, HE will figure it out on HIS own and DO IT!  I tried hard to just be patient and let him do it on his own time, but I have to admit that I was starting to get worried.  I had visions of Greg and I holding onto the seat, running after the bike, and shouting instructions as we frantically tried to prepare our 19-year-old for his mission.  

Here are some great pictures of the new bike-rider (on garbage day):

From the get-go, we want to make sure that we teach him the best of bike safety.  Notice his protective invisible helmet, Macy strapped securely into the bike trailer (Oops!), and is that my baby in the middle of the street?!?  Oh well...I guess we have another 7 years to polish up on the safety issues.  Way to go, Bud!  We are so happy for you!  All you need now is a bigger bike (and a haircut)!  

Good Morning Sunshine! and Other Random Thoughts

You know how when kids are sick, they become more clingy and needy.  Then they get better, but the "Sick Habits" tend to stick around for a little while.  My Sweet Paige is doing just that.  Last night, I woke up at 1:30 to her crying.  I let it go for a just a few minutes, but my guilt got the better of me.  (Just last week, I let her cry on and off for too long.  By the time I went in, she had gotten sick and it was everywhere.)  She immediately stood up, grabbed her blankie for me to wrap it around her, and said, "Night-night, Mommy."  So, I got her out and put her in bed with me where I existed in-between sleep and consciousness for about a half hour.  I was too tired to be fully alert, but she was squirmy and I could hear Greg's snoring and Macy's slurping from her thumb sucking (she had snuck into bed on Greg's side - She's no dummy!).  When I was sure that Paige was asleep and I could roll her from my chest onto the mattress, she very sweetly whispered, "Mom."  

I am so torn in this situation because while I desperately NEED my sleep, if I could, I would willingly stay up all night just to cuddle with her.  She is by far my best cuddler, and I don't know how long she will be my little baby.  But, I ended up putting her back in bed, carrying Macy back into her bed, and lovingly tapping Greg and suggesting he roll onto his side so the snoring would subside.  

A half hour later I was greeted by a sniffling Macy.  

Macy: "Mom, I had a bad dream, and I really want to sleep with you."  (Keep in mind that Macy does not sleep up-and-down in the bed, instead she sleeps sideways.  There have been many nights when I am awakened by a swift kick to my stomach or a fist to my nose.  No fault of hers as she is fast asleep.  But, I knew I could not let her in that bed.) 

Me: "What happened in your dream?"

Macy: "A snake bit me, so I want to sleep with you."

Me: "Where did he bite you?"

Macy: "With his mouth."

Me (chuckling): "No...Where did the snake bite your body."

Macy (lifting them up to show me): "On my hands, and I really NEED to sleep with you."

Me (thinking quickly before she climbs in): "How about if we say a prayer that you will have good dreams the rest of the night, and I'll tuck you back in your bed and start your music for you."  She reluctantly agreed and, gratefully, she spent the rest of the night in her bed.  

My amazing husband got up bright and early with the kids so I could sleep in.  I did startle myself awake at 7:30 thinking that we had to get ready for school, but settled right back in once I realized that it was Sunday.  An hour and a half later, I woke up to the sounds of Greg playing "Sorry" with Austin and Macy.  They were dressed, fed, and enjoying a Sunday morning board game.  Bless you, honey!

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I rarely watch this show, but last night I sat down with a late-night snack and flipped on the TV.  It was on TV Land and had a re-run of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition."  I got completely and unabashedly sucked in!  It was about a family in Detroit.  The parents are both deaf, they have a 14-year-old son, and a younger son who was born blind and is severely autistic.  Whenever the younger son heard something outside, he would try to escape (apparently this is very common for autistic people).  The parents couldn't hear, and the house was small but arranged so that you couldn't really see from room to room, so he got out a lot and got lost.  The 14-year-old actually wrote the show because he wanted to go to college, but he was the lifeline for this family.  He spoke on behalf of his parents, and he saw on behalf of his brother.  This kid was unbelievably humble and sensitive to the needs of his family.  Unfathomable challenges and incredible family!  I watched this show and what these designers did to this small house to make it so much safer, and I was so touched.  I don't have any problems.  These people had so many obstacles to overcome and they did so with such love and optimism.  Amazing!

* * *

Paige's favorite thing to do is "Kah-wee" (color).  She is constantly coloring on any paper she can get her grubby little hands on and her cheeks, arms, and legs.  She loves it so much, I just buy "Washable" and keep the crayons and markers accessible to her.  We play the "Show Me Your" Game ("Show me your eyes.  Show me your ears.  Show me your teeth.).  When we say "Show me your nose," she plugs her nose and says, "P-U."  Lately, after she pinches her nose, she also sticks her finger up her nostril and says, "boo-gie" ("boo" as in what a ghost would say).  It is so disgusting and completely adorable at the same time.   

* * *

I forgot to mention this last week, but it is well worth documenting.  During the Sacrament Meeting Primary Program, and in the middle of one of the Primary songs, the chorister put her book on the music stand and it fell over.  Austin immediately jumped out of his seat and picked it up for her.  I forget, amidst all my expectations and his insane amount of (seemingly) uncontrollable energy, that he has been blessed with a very kind heart.  This was not unusual behavior, and I think I overlook it because it is so common.  He is always helping people in the grocery store, at school, and at home.  Just last Monday, Macy was sitting on her bed until she decided that she was ready to do her chore of sorting her dirty laundry (this is also a common occurrence).  After about 2 minutes, Macy came bouncing out of her room.  Apparently, Austin felt sorry for her and did her chore for her.  He spoils her.  He spoils all of us with his thoughtfulness and generosity.

* * * 

My conversation with Macy as we were leaving her field-trip to Wheeler Farm last Tuesday:

Me: What was your favorite part of the field trip?

Macy: I really liked the cows, especially the new baby cow.  But, I'm sad that I didn't get to see the cow eggs.

Me (t0tally confused): The cow eggs?

Macy: Yeah...You know the eggs before they crack and the baby cows come out.

Me (laughing): Honey, cows don't lay eggs.  Chickens lay eggs, but not cows.

Macy: Really?!? Then how do the babies come out.

Me: Just like human babies.  They grow in the Mommy's belly and come out of the Mommy's vagina.

Macy (laughing hysterically): Cows don't have berginas (her pronunciation)!

* * *

On a more appropriate note: After Elder Uchtdorf's talk yesterday, I announced to Greg that I think that he was sent for me.  He immediately said, "No.  A lot of people like him.  It's not just you."  He completely missed my point.  I am not that self-centered to believe he was sent just for me, but I have been so touched by his thoughts this past week.  I also LOVED President Monson's thoughts today on enjoying the journey and living in the moment.  Greg and kept elbowing each other as if this was EXACTLY what we needed to hear.  

I thoroughly enjoyed my Conference Weekend.  Besides spending time with family, shirking all other responsibilities, and being completely uplifted and edified, I loved snuggling with Greg on the Love Sac, occasionally being tackled by one of three adorable kids who wanted in on some snuggle time with Dad!

"Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?"

It is very strange to get older. Okay, I know I'm not that old, and that really isn't what this post is about. I am in no way complaining about my age, but I've just been noticing it more lately. My sister Maddie was talking about how old my mom was when she was born, and I said, "I'm only a year younger than she was." For a split second, she tried to think of something to make me feel better, but then she just started laughing (her nervous laugh).

I am nearly 32 (or as Macy would say, I am 31 and a half). In some ways I do feel older. It is very different to be 24 and pregnant versus pregnant in your 30s (no, I am not making an announcement). I look in the mirror and see little lines forming around my mouth and eyes, and lets just say that everything is not nearly as "perky" as it used to be. I am more tired, and a bit more "disillusioned" with life because of some of the stuff we've gone through. Yet, at the same time, I feel such deep connections to people and I am in awe at the generosity and goodness of humanity. I guess life is more complicated. However, in many, many ways I don't really feel liked I've aged that much. I look at these boys that come to piano lessons talking about the newness of 7th Grade, and cute girls, and awkward dances, and it isn't that hard for me to put myself back at Riverview Jr. High - 19 years ago! I remember that 30-somethings seemed quite "established" and even refined and dignified to a 7th Grader. But, I don't feel like those 30-somethings that were once my Young Women leaders and my friend's mothers. I definitely don't feel refined and dignified. (Did they feel refined and dignified, or was my perception just way off?)  And, thank you very much Madeline, I do not feel like I am too old to have another baby. I had a thought tonight: Does everyone feel that way?

My sister's and I went to a Senior Center to sing tonight for club meeting for our old Bishop. As with most things, when we think we are doing a favor for someone else, we are really so enriched by the experience that we see it as other people doing a favor for us.  We took my grandpa, and he accompanied some of the songs for us on his guitar. He and my grandma met a man there that they grew up with and they started laughing about when they were in school and telling stories about when they were kids. When we were done singing, Florence (my old Bishop's wife) took me downstairs where there was a gallery of paintings. Her husband has submitted three entries. I was impressed! Some of those paintings were really, really good and very innovative. There was one watercolor painted out of muted blues and subtle browns. It was abstract and had a woman holding a baby. It was amazing!

I looked around at all of these people whose bodies were obviously aging, but did they feel the same way that I do? I guess I assumed that by the time you reached 80 (and probably a lot sooner), some sort of seasoned wisdom rested on your persona. But inside each of these bodies is a giddy 11-year-old, a headstrong 18-year-old, a carefree 20-something, a young mother/father, a 40-year-old up to their eyeballs in busy-ness, a young grandmother/grandfather, a sixty-five year old retiree, and a 70-something discovering new abilities and hobbies, and whole lot in between. They are also carrying a lot of joy, sorrow, success, defeat, gain, loss. They are entire souls, and not just the age on their driver's license.

I keep waiting to feel 31/32. As if I will suddenly figure out my role and be able to fulfill it to perfection (or close, at least). As if I will suddenly feel "old enough" and therefore "done" having children. As if I will "mature" (whatever that means). But I don't think that is ever going to happen because age is just a number, it is not who we really are at the core of our soul. We are so much more! We are all those experiences, all those people that entered our lives and left an impression, and all of those feelings. What do you think? 

Madeline and me in 1989 (nice perm & nice VCR in the background):

DISCLAIMER (can it be a "Disclaimer" at the end?): I never thought that "older" people weren't capable of creating beautiful paintings or leading fulfilling lives, and I certainly didn't mean to come across that ignorant. It's just that they (meaning my own grandparents) keep commenting on how old they are, and they seem to readily point out their limitations. But, they haven't done a very good job at convincing me. I think they have many moments when they feel extremely young. Do you think it is just their bodies that feel "old" and "rundown" (their words, not mine)? Do you think their soul is still young at heart?

Popular - It's All About Popular!

Jana thinks my blog is awesome, which is awesome because I think she is awesome!  She awarded me the "I Love Your Blog" award!! So I get to try to answer these questions in one word. It will be very tricky, but don't worry...we'll get through this together.

1. Where is your cell phone? Counter
2. Where is your significant other? Bed
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? Selfless
5. Your father? Selfless
6. Your favorite thing? Music
7. Your dream last night? Absent
8. Your dream/goal? content
9. The room you're in? Play
10. Your hobby? Learning
11. Your fear? Myself
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
13. Where were you last night? Couch
14. What you're not? Patient
15. One of your wish-list items? Travel
16. Where you grew up? Murray
17. The last thing you ate? Soup
18. What are you wearing? Jacket
19. Your TV? Tevo
20. Your pet? Fake
21. Your computer? Big
22. Your mood? Tired
23. Missing someone? Elizabeth 
24. Your car? Smelly
25. Something you're not wearing? shoes
26. Favorite store? Bookstore
27. Your summer? Lazy
28. Love someone? Yes!
29. Your favorite color? Red
30. When is the last time you laughed? Paige
31. Last time you cried? Sunday

I award the following 7 people with the "I love your blog award" and in so doing tag them to complete the above questions.
All of you on my "Blog List."  How could I only select 7?  I love reading about all of you and your fascinating lives!

Update

Yes...Christmas is still on (for now), and I reinstated all of the bans and apologized to my kids.  I love it when I apologize to my kids because they bring up (again) everything I did wrong.  "Yeah Mom...Remember when I tried to give you a hug and you wouldn't let me because you were so mad?"  Thank you for rubbing salt in the wound.  

We have been sick for four days at our house, and I am so grateful for a four-year-old to be sick because she made it to the toilet 95% of the time!  Good girl, Mace!  She is just sitting here on my lap (where she's been all day), and I actually heard this sentence come out of my mouth:  "Macy, please don't put your finger up my nose."  Greg just started laughing hysterically, and I had to join him.  If nothing else, these three munchkins bring a lot of raw joy and spontaneous laughter to our home.  Jen spoke it so perfectly (so I stole her words):

Might I take a moment to tell you how much I love love love these children! They truly bring light, life, joy, pain, frustration, laughs,cries, guilt, and much much pleasure into the core of my very heart. I wouldn't trade them or this experience for anything!