The Bible and Giving Birth

So, I've been reading the Bible and considering the fact that I really do want to have another baby.  I remember when we decided that we were ready to have our first baby.  We had been married for a little over a year, and Greg went to Texas to visit Steve for a week.  While he was gone, I remember having this feeling that it was time.  When I picked him up from the airport, I mentioned it, and he told me that he was just waiting for me.  I remember driving on I-2 15 to our little condo in Bountiful being practically giddy about this prospect.  Three months later, we had a positive pregnancy test.  I don't think I appreciated how "easy" it all was.  I was so excited to have Austin, and even though he was a fussy baby, I didn't know any different and I LOVED the first few years of his life.

Eight years later, I feel like I have to "mentally prepare" to decide to have a baby.  I know every doctor on the planet will tell me that having an epidural is not the result of my back pain/spasms after I give birth, but when my back really starts to ache or when I'm doing a really big yoga stretch, I can feel the exact point that the epidural was inserted.  So, shortly after Paige was born, I came to the conclusion that if I was to do it again, I would do it without the epidural.  I think I'm finally to the point where I can do it.  I dilated to 9 and three quarters with Austin (not knowingly) and to about eight with Macy, so I know a large majority of what I'm going up against.  I talked to my friend Sarah, who is a labor and delivery nurse.  She told me that she would be my doula, and she firmly believes in me.  I'm not so "firm" in my belief, but I think I can do it if I have to.  Then, I think of all the shots, miscarriage, the back pain, telling my dad, potty training, tantrums, increase noise level, teenage years, etc. and lets just say that I'm talking myself into pregnancy again.  It takes a big, multi-month pep talk to get me ready.  Once I'm ready, I have to begin the big, multi-month task of talking Greg into it.  Some days I miss the innocence/ignorance of that 24-year-old, giddy, young wife.

I've been reading the Bible, and I think of Eve a lot.  Here I am, gearing up for the possibility of four children and she had the task of populating the Earth.  She is, after all, "the mother of all living."  It blows my mind.  Reading the Bible is very difficult for me, and I don't understand a lot of what I read.  I should mention that I firmly believe that Eve knew what she was doing when she ate of the forbidden fruit.  I believe that she knew it was time for them to move on, to suffer joy and sorrow, and to bear children.  Even though we don't know how many children Eve had, I wonder what her births were like, being the first woman to experience it.  

My grandmother told my mother that giving birth was like "having a large bowel movement."  Her labors were incredibly short, not that painful, and she walked out of the hospital in her size 2 pants after every one of her five children.  After 30+ hours of labor with me, my own mother doesn't remember the last few hours and was apparently cursing the nurses and screaming so loudly that they were telling her to quiet down.  I love my mom so much, and I love that she can laugh about this all these years later.  But, she was mad - downright angry - at her own mother for insinuating that having a baby was at the same pain level as big poop.  After all, have any of you ever had an 8-pound bowel movement?  (You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.)  

Even though I was once told by a gynecologist that I have "excellent birthing hips" (I'm pretty sure he meant it as a compliment, but it was hard to take it as one), I know that some women have an easier time than me when it comes to birthing children, and some people have it so much worse.  I like to think, in the Gospel According to Emily, that the Lord had compassion on Eve.  I hope and pray that Eve's births were similar to my own grandmothers.  I hope and pray that angels surrounded her and helped her as she ventured into this unknown abyss of childbearing.  I guess, when I really think about Eve in the "dark and dreary world," having a baby without the luxuries of a hospital, doctor, modern medicine, stitches, indoor plumbing, AGPAR tests, and other women surrounding her, it's easier for me to "suck it up" and finish my own pep talk.  Now...I just have to convince my husband!  I wonder what Eve said to Adam?

I'd love to hear about your birthing experiences!

Oh, and I made the HUGE mistake of actually trying on my wedding dress last week.  Over dinner, Greg started telling the story of how we met and all about our wedding day.  The kids were quite fascinated and loved hearing all about it.  I decided to get my wedding dress out and model it.  What was I thinking?!?  I really, really thought I could fit into it.  I know I weigh less now than when I got married, but apparently I've added some overall mass.  I could only get the zipper half way up (apparently the majority of the mass has accumulated in the mid-section: Talk about love handles).  DANG!  I told Greg that I've traded in my waist for my children.  He laughed and said it was a good trade.