Monday, November 3, 2008

The Bible and Giving Birth

So, I've been reading the Bible and considering the fact that I really do want to have another baby.  I remember when we decided that we were ready to have our first baby.  We had been married for a little over a year, and Greg went to Texas to visit Steve for a week.  While he was gone, I remember having this feeling that it was time.  When I picked him up from the airport, I mentioned it, and he told me that he was just waiting for me.  I remember driving on I-2 15 to our little condo in Bountiful being practically giddy about this prospect.  Three months later, we had a positive pregnancy test.  I don't think I appreciated how "easy" it all was.  I was so excited to have Austin, and even though he was a fussy baby, I didn't know any different and I LOVED the first few years of his life.

Eight years later, I feel like I have to "mentally prepare" to decide to have a baby.  I know every doctor on the planet will tell me that having an epidural is not the result of my back pain/spasms after I give birth, but when my back really starts to ache or when I'm doing a really big yoga stretch, I can feel the exact point that the epidural was inserted.  So, shortly after Paige was born, I came to the conclusion that if I was to do it again, I would do it without the epidural.  I think I'm finally to the point where I can do it.  I dilated to 9 and three quarters with Austin (not knowingly) and to about eight with Macy, so I know a large majority of what I'm going up against.  I talked to my friend Sarah, who is a labor and delivery nurse.  She told me that she would be my doula, and she firmly believes in me.  I'm not so "firm" in my belief, but I think I can do it if I have to.  Then, I think of all the shots, miscarriage, the back pain, telling my dad, potty training, tantrums, increase noise level, teenage years, etc. and lets just say that I'm talking myself into pregnancy again.  It takes a big, multi-month pep talk to get me ready.  Once I'm ready, I have to begin the big, multi-month task of talking Greg into it.  Some days I miss the innocence/ignorance of that 24-year-old, giddy, young wife.

I've been reading the Bible, and I think of Eve a lot.  Here I am, gearing up for the possibility of four children and she had the task of populating the Earth.  She is, after all, "the mother of all living."  It blows my mind.  Reading the Bible is very difficult for me, and I don't understand a lot of what I read.  I should mention that I firmly believe that Eve knew what she was doing when she ate of the forbidden fruit.  I believe that she knew it was time for them to move on, to suffer joy and sorrow, and to bear children.  Even though we don't know how many children Eve had, I wonder what her births were like, being the first woman to experience it.  

My grandmother told my mother that giving birth was like "having a large bowel movement."  Her labors were incredibly short, not that painful, and she walked out of the hospital in her size 2 pants after every one of her five children.  After 30+ hours of labor with me, my own mother doesn't remember the last few hours and was apparently cursing the nurses and screaming so loudly that they were telling her to quiet down.  I love my mom so much, and I love that she can laugh about this all these years later.  But, she was mad - downright angry - at her own mother for insinuating that having a baby was at the same pain level as big poop.  After all, have any of you ever had an 8-pound bowel movement?  (You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.)  

Even though I was once told by a gynecologist that I have "excellent birthing hips" (I'm pretty sure he meant it as a compliment, but it was hard to take it as one), I know that some women have an easier time than me when it comes to birthing children, and some people have it so much worse.  I like to think, in the Gospel According to Emily, that the Lord had compassion on Eve.  I hope and pray that Eve's births were similar to my own grandmothers.  I hope and pray that angels surrounded her and helped her as she ventured into this unknown abyss of childbearing.  I guess, when I really think about Eve in the "dark and dreary world," having a baby without the luxuries of a hospital, doctor, modern medicine, stitches, indoor plumbing, AGPAR tests, and other women surrounding her, it's easier for me to "suck it up" and finish my own pep talk.  Now...I just have to convince my husband!  I wonder what Eve said to Adam?

I'd love to hear about your birthing experiences!

Oh, and I made the HUGE mistake of actually trying on my wedding dress last week.  Over dinner, Greg started telling the story of how we met and all about our wedding day.  The kids were quite fascinated and loved hearing all about it.  I decided to get my wedding dress out and model it.  What was I thinking?!?  I really, really thought I could fit into it.  I know I weigh less now than when I got married, but apparently I've added some overall mass.  I could only get the zipper half way up (apparently the majority of the mass has accumulated in the mid-section: Talk about love handles).  DANG!  I told Greg that I've traded in my waist for my children.  He laughed and said it was a good trade.  

10 comments:

Jana said...

I'm guessing Eve didn't have to say much to Adam...there probably wasn't a lot of "preventing" back then! ;)
I did natural childbirth and I LOVED it. Seriously, I loved knowing what my body was doing and feeling in charge of it. I only almost hyperventilated once...
But really, I wasn't totally gung-ho about doing it naturally; I had signed the epidural papers just in case, and really expected to need it. I am very aware that I had a pretty easy childbirth, but I also know that I could have handled more.
And you're right--centuries and centuries of women went without epidurals! And, as Jen so wisely told me over the phone when I was in labor, "Remember, Jana, pioneer women squatted in fields."

I AM JOE PESCI said...

I was going to get my wedding dress out this week and try it on. But, I don't think so now. I wonder . . . do they still make corsets these days? Cuz, I want one.

Fauset Photography said...

why would you even try your wedding dress on...hello! :) I steer clear of clothing that I know may not fit.
Birthing experiences...mine were all pretty different. See Jana up there could've handled MORE! There is no way I could have. 2 babies with no drugs, and one being 9 and half lbs. was ALL that I could handle. Therefore, the epidural became my new best friend for the next 2. I love them. Dearly.
Amen.

Allyson said...

I LOVE epidurals, myself. They allow me to enjoy what's going on rather than despise it. I always have fairly long labors and they broke my water each time for me...that's when those monster contractions started kicking in! Like Jen, I had all big babies too. 8lbs. 15oz. was my lightest and Malia was the hippo, weighing in at 9lbs. 10oz. I might not have loved her as much if I'd not had "drugs"! You know you and what you can handle. Let me know if it all ends up going like you hope.

Jackie said...

Claire saw my wedding dress hanging in the closet about 6 months ago and so I tried it on for her. Like you- BIG mistake! And I used to think I was so fat back then. What was I thinking?? I would love to be "that fat" again....

My birthing experiences- well, I've been induced on all of them and had epidurals as well. Claire was my biggest at 8lbs2oz but she was my quickest. With Logan the doctor asked me if I wanted an epidural and I was only dilated to a 3 but he couldn't guarantee when the "drug doctor" could get back in. So of course, I took the drugs that early! Ethan was my most difficult delivery. We were in Oklahoma and the doctors wouldn't induce there and we were on a timeline. So, he broke my water in his office which was the most painful thing ever! That put me into labor. The epidural had worn off by the time I delivered and I remember just yelling to get him out of me. I think I was just emotional as it was anyway so that added to it. I just remember physical pain more with him. Anyhow....I don't think there's anything wrong with drugs. I say take them when you can.
And you're thinking of another one? You guys are all putting pressure on me you know...seems everyone is pregnant again! Ugh!

Amber said...

I'm still laughing about the '8-lb poop'!! Dallin and Abbie were both super easy, short labors, but Dallin's delivery was, well, h-e-l-l. He was trying to come out sideways, so after almost 3 hours of pushing, the doctor had to manually turn him. 'Nuff said.

And you read my blog about your body after having kids- no matter how much weight you lose, there's no goin' back!

Alexie said...

Well, you were there for Abby and I'm sure I told you all the stories about Max. I'll take the epidural anyday, but I also didn't have back pain the way you have so I won't tell you what to do. My friends that have done natural LOVED it, but if you are being induced (like with macy and paige) they (who are these "they" anyway?) say the contractions are harder. If you are at an 8 or 9 and don't think you can do it, they can always give you a little morphine to help you through.

Do you think you'd find out what the baby is, or would you make it a surprise again?

Tera said...

Em,
I think I told you that I had some form of drugs with all 4. I Think the best was Bailey's in Wyoming. They don't have anethesiologist (?sp) on staff, so they gave me a spinal block. It is a shot that goes in the same spot, but I got up and walked to have a shower as soon as he was born. No waiting for legs to become human again! I loved it.

I often think about those pioneer women that had to give birth and then get up and walk another 10 miles. Talk about girl power!

Kristy said...

I tried on my wedding dress a couple of years back...What a monumental mistake! I've been depressed about it ever since!

I've done epidurals, and I've done natural. I like neither. Is neither an option? Could you get Greg to just whap you on the back of your head really hard with a bed pan or something? That's pretty much what they did to me when my third was born, and I woke up with a beautiful little girl and absolutely no memory of pain.

I'm just kidding! I wouldn't trade being there awake and alive and in the moment of giving birth for all the pain relief in the world. I've ALWAYS MOURNED THE FACT THAT I WAS OUT COLD FOR MARY'S BIRTH. I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER HOLDING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME. If you want my opinion, after doing both epi and natural, go for the epi. I loved that I was able to enjoy, and be aware and alive for the experience, rather than wanting to just get through it and die.

Michelle Arnett said...

This post made me LAUGH! Are you guys trying for another one? Hmmmm. . . .my labor stories are NOT fun! I was in Labor with James for 36 hours. . had an emergency C-section. . . then I was in labor for 60. . . yes people, 60 hours! I honestly thought I was going to die. I was trying to do a VBAC(vaginal birth). After all that time. . . I ended in an emergency C-section. . . my doc said that had I been home, Spence & I would both have died. Had we waited 20 more minutes I would have had an immediate hysterectomy. . .I was so disappointed I couldn't "Experience" child birth. . 6 months later James died. Wow. . . how grateful I was just to get a baby here safely, it didn't matter which way they came out. . just to be here safely and to be able to have more after our loss. I am the only one in my 8 sibling family to have ever had a c-section. . we were built to have babies. . but not me I guess. My Gram Gram had my mom in like 3 hours too. . . why didn't I get those genes? Oh well!