Mother's Day

I'm reading this new parenting book called, "The Parenting Breakthrough" by Merrilee Boyack. It is all about training our kids to be responsible adults. In the first chapter, the author asks the reader to think back to the first time when they left home and consider all of the things that you didn't know how to do. You know what - I couldn't think of very many. My mom (and dad) did a great job at "training" me. Although I wasn't a great cook, I knew that I wouldn't starve. I could confidently do my laundry, pay bills, find a job, clean the bathroom, go grocery shopping, make my own doctor's appointments, drive a stick-shift, etc. And anything they didn't teach me, I felt confident that I could figure it out. Near the end of high school, my dad showed me how to apply for a credit card and explained how it was important to build good credit. He showed me how to research all of the different ones to find one that would serve me the best. He explained how credit cards worked: You put stuff on the credit card all month and then when the bill comes, you pay it. He explained how you never charge more than you know you can pay. It was years before I even realized that you didn't HAVE to pay it off entirely. Very funny! I do remember living in New York as a Nanny, and my employers gave me a car to use. I didn't know that you had to check the oil. They were a little irritated with me, but I just didn't know. That is really the one incident that I can remember.

Seriously...My parents did a great job at teaching me everything I needed to know, and were very patient with me as they watched me experiment and make mistakes. I remember one time (I was probably about 10 or 11) when my sister, Lisa, and I had to go to our softball game but our uniforms weren't clean and my mom wasn't home. We decided we would do it ourselves. I distinctly remember the soap oozing out of the washing machine. We ran and got our neighbor to help us. It was a complete disaster, but a mistake that you only make once. That day, we not only learned how much detergent to put in the washing machine, but also how to clean up a flooded laundry room.

My mom is an incredible woman! As I look back on my childhood, I remember her as very busy, but always there for us. I remember holding Austin for the first time, with my mom right next to me, and I was just completely overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with how much I instantly loved him. I had never felt love like that. But, I was also overwhelmed because I realized that someone else loved me that perfectly. I always felt like my parents loved me, but I never understood how completely and how unselfishly they loved and served me. As a mom, I am even more acutely aware of everything that my mom did (and continues to do) for me. She is my best example of how to love and serve. She definitely deserves a day (or several of them) when we all gush over her and tell her that she is amazing, wonderful, loving, kind, giving, and patient.

Yesterday was my first guilt-free Mother's Day. I decided that I wasn't going to focus on the myriad of things that I'm doing wrong or not doing, and just let myself enjoy the day. It was very pleasant. My wonderful sister, Lisa, cooked breakfast for all of us. She was very daring and tried three new recipes, but it was incredible and so yummy! I'll have to have her post the recipes on her blog. Then, we visited Grandma Shaffer and Grandma Schow. As a result, we were a little late to church. The kids sang in Sacrament Meeting. We sat on the very last row, and when it was time for the kids to sing, Macy looked at me and asked, "Is it time to go?" I said, "Yes, but be very reverent." So, with arms folded she walked up and right out the door. I ran after her and apparently she thought it was time for church to be over (wishful thinking), but I explained that it was time for her to go up to the stand and sing. Honestly...that girl is hilarious! After church, Greg helped plan a BBQ and I went over to Melva's for some waxing. Overall, it was a great day! Greg completely spoiled me with a new computer! We generally aren't this extravagant with gifts, but I won't complain. When I said, "Thank you," Greg said that I should thank George W. Bush. :)

It seems like we go through cycles at our house, and we are currently in a very whiny cycle. I feel like I'm not doing anything right as a mother, and that my kids are just spoiled rotten little stinkers who constantly argue with me over every little thing. That's why I'm reading a new parenting book - because I feel like I'm at a loss (again!). I just hope and pray (a lot) that we aren't messing up these kids too badly. My instinct is to have more rules and be more strict, but I know that isn't the answer. I am trying to let little things go that irritate me but don't do any real damage, and love and laugh and SLOW DOWN and focus on the positive aspects of their behavior. I'm trying to cherish these moments, and enjoy the stage that we are in at the moment. Austin and Macy were so excited to give me the little gifts they made at school, and they all climbed on the bed with me Saturday morning to help me eat my breakfast. Macy kept telling me that she had a surprise for me for Thanksgiving Day. Then, Austin climbed under the covers with me and we read a few chapters of our book. It was so pleasant.

Although I still feel like a fish out of water, I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with these children. I'm grateful to Greg for being such an amazing husband and truly walking beside me as we take on parenthood. I'm grateful for Austin, Macy, and Paige for being so patient with me as I learn and grow. I'm grateful to all the women in my life who I lean on more than they will ever know. I have been so blessed to be surrounded by so many incredible examples. Thank you to all of you!