A Vow of Kindness

I rarely watch Oprah, but I the other day she had a psychologist from Britain who has devoted his career to studying "happiness." (I'm sure this is a re-run, but like I said, I only watch Oprah a couple times a year.) Anyway...it caught my attention so I Tevo-ed it and watched it. It was kind of interesting. It turns out that it wasn't "happiness," but more of an inner joy/peace that certain people have and other people don't. Several people were interviewed, ranging from "very happy" to "quite miserable." For example, on man was a funeral home director and talked about how he views his job as an opportunity to help people during a very difficult time in their lives. He had affirmations that he said every morning, and a very positive attitude. The psychologist made the point that helping people (serving others) was a key component to happiness. There was another guest that the psychologist described as a "chosen optimist" because bad things had happened in her life, but she chose to start out every day being grateful and positive. She also tried not to compare herself and her life to anyone else. At the end of the show, Oprah asked what people could do today to be more happy. These were the two suggestions:
1) Forget the past. The psychologist said that he believes that anyone who lives to be 30 years old has experienced enough in order to be miserable the rest of their life. So, we just need to let the past be the past and not worry about changing it. We should go forward with a determination to do better.
2) We should take a "vow of kindness".

This reminds me of a talk that President Hinckley gave at the end of conference. I wanted to quote it, but I loved the entire talk. I tried posting a link, but it didn't work. His talk is entitled, "Each a Better Person" and is published in the November 2002 Ensign. It's short, but some great thoughts on moving forward with a resolve to be a better person in every aspect of our lives.

"A Vow of Kindness" - I love that language. Nothing he said was new to me. I know that service and a positive attitude help with happiness, but I like the wording. I think that I am generally a nice person, but I can be more kind to my children and my family. I say things to them that I would never to say to anyone else - even a stranger at the grocery store. I would never put my finger in someone else's face and say very sternly, "Stop that right now" (notice the absence of "please"). And I would never grab somebody by the arm (perhaps a little too tightly at times) and say, "Go to your room right now!" Why do I think I have a right to do that just because they are children (correction: my children - I would never do that to a neighbor kid). I need to take a "Vow of Kindness" within the walls of my own home. This is so easy to say right now because Austin is at school and Macy and Paige are both sleeping. It's so easy to be patient, kind, and loving when the kids are no where near me. Why is this so hard? It shouldn't be!

We went to a Parenting Fireside on Sunday night with Elder Ballard and Richard and Linda Eyre. It was so nice to see Elder Ballard in a more relaxed setting, and I've actually heard the Eyre's speak before, but it's always nice to hear again. I took my Spiderman notebook with me, and these are some of the things that I got out of it:

• Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love. It really is! I rock Paige to sleep at night, and I have such a hard time putting her down once she's asleep. I love to hold her and love her. And my kids are so funny! Our life definitely wouldn't be as interesting if they weren't around.
• We are raising treasures. Our kids are pretty much who they are - we just need to discover it. Brother Eyre told of an experience he had one night when he got up in the middle of the night with one of his babies. The baby wasn't hungry or messy, but he was still crying. Amid frustration, he came to the realization that this baby was actually his brother. Just because he was born 30 years earlier, what right did he have to be frustrated with this little being? If the baby had been born first, the baby may have been frustrated with him instead. These children are on loan to us, and perhaps they were the more righteous ones in the preexistence. Maybe they have an incredibly important mission in life, and we just need to raise them in order for them to complete that mission. I've heard President Monson say that children have so much energy because they have such enormous spirits in such a tiny body. I try to remember that when my kids are bouncing off the walls in Sacrament Meeting.
• Live from good moment to good moment and forget the stuff in between. This is very similar to the marriage advice my dad gave me. He believes that marriage is a roller coaster. If we are in a "high" point right now, enjoy it! If we are in a "low" point, ride it out because it's bound to get better.
• It's not a game of perfect. We must never give up on our children.
• No guilt - Don't judge yourself. Don't take too much pride in a child that does well; don't feel too guilty for a child that struggles.
• Less than 1/5 of our lives will be spent in child-rearing. I guess that's even more of an excuse for me to continue to rock Paige to sleep at night. I've got to enjoy it while it lasts!
• Family Laws: They have five, one-word rules in their home. Every rule has a consequence that can be summed up in one phrase. I love the simplicity! That makes it easy for everyone to remember. Their rules are: Peace, Respect, Asking, Order, and Obedience.
• They had a lot of other ideas about teaching children responsibility and family traditions. We have a lot of "big day" traditions (like birthdays and other holidays), but we need to come up with some everyday traditions. Any ideas?

From President Ballard:

• Learn from listening (with an understanding heart and a patient mind).
• Know that we need help from our Heavenly Father. Be wise enough to listen to the spirit. Almost always a calmness will come, and in the next few days a solution will come. I couldn't do it without prayer. I figure these children are our Heavenly Father's children and He knows them best. He knows what is right for them and can help me more than anyone.
• "If you love me, keep my commandments."

I know this is very long-winded. I just needed to talk about my frustrations. I want so badly to enjoy this time of my life. And there are so many moments that I do enjoy, I just want my kids to remember a kind, happy mother - not a witch. That's another one of Linda Eyre's books, "I Didn't Plan to be a Witch." It's so true! I'm open to any suggestions.

Sleeping Through the Night

I think it's safe to say that Paige is officially sleeping through the night. It's been about three weeks now, and she usually sleeps until 6 or 7 in the morning. Occasionally, she'll get up earlier to eat, and occasionally she sleeps until after 8 (those days are heaven!). I know some of you have miracle babies that come home from the hospital sleeping through the night, but this is the earliest that any of my children have reached this milestone. Austin and Macy were both around 9 or 10 months before they started sleeping all the way through on a regular basis. She's so cute. She'll take a binkie to go to sleep if she's really, really tired. But, she mostly likes to suck on her lower lip. So...Thank You, Paige! I really appreciate it!

This is a cute picture of her in her sun hat, riding in the stroller when we went to lagoon.

Holding On To Summer

In an attempt to enjoy the last few days/weeks of summer, we went to Lagoon last Monday and hiked up to Donut Falls on Saturday.

Donut Falls:

I forgot what a simple hike this is - perfect for a 3-year-old who has officially been kicked out of the baby carrier. Austin ran the entire hike. He would run a few feet ahead of us, then run back and tell us to hurry. So, in reality, he probably did the hike three or four times. He loved throwing rocks and picking up handfuls of dirt and dropping them over his head so it "rained dirt." He's such a boy!

To keep pretty, pretty Princess Macy from whining (sometimes she has a difficult time not being "the baby"), we whispered and talked about all the different sounds she was hearing and seeing. We heard birds, the river, the wind through the leaves, squirrels, and chipmunks. Macy has this wonderful ability to add extra syllables to words. She does it all the time, and we never correct her because it's so adorable, but I can never remember later what word she said. Well...she did it with chipmunk. She called them "chink-a-monks". I kept asking her questions just to get her to say "chink-a-monk" because I thought it was so funny.

Austin swore he saw some woodpeckers, and he described to Macy how woodpeckers knock on the trees. Macy started calling them "knockers." She said, "Daddy, did you see those knockers?" Greg and I were beside ourselves with laughter.

Paige was in heaven - She was outside and she was held the entire time! Here she is chewing on the strap of her carrier. Funny girl!

Lagoon:

Austin is still about an inch too short to ride all of the rides, but he could ride some of them with an adult. He did everything that he could, but he was a little scared. Macy, on the other hand, was tall enough this year to ride all of the "older" kiddie rides. She loved them! She rode all the scary ones with a huge smile on her face with her arms up in the air. Austin was the perfect little gentleman and helped Macy get buckled and unbuckled on all of the rides. The bumper cars were the big hit of the day! Both Austin and Macy loved slamming into each other. We saw some of our great friends - the Rayl's. They used to live across the street from us, and we just love them! Austin would frequently ask if he could go and live with them (and I'm pretty sure he wasn't kidding). Angi showered Austin and Macy with treats and gifts. Their kids have grown up so much even over the past six months. They are the sweetest, nicest people and we miss them. We're so glad we bumped into them at Lagoon.

A Week of Many "Firsts"

Macy's First Dentist Appointment:
We went to the dentist on Tuesday, and Macy got her teeth checked for the first time. She did fabulous! She wants so desperately to be like Austin (all grown up) that she just climbed on the chair, laid back, and opened her mouth. No tears or crying. Of course, our dentist is brilliant and has installed television sets on the ceiling. So, Macy and Austin got to watch Nickelodeon while they had their teeth cleaned and checked. We don't have Nickelodeon at home, so it was even more of an anomaly. Unfortunately, Austin had one cavity and I had two (of course). I never had a cavity until I had children, now I just expect it after a pregnancy. I'm always amazed at the various parts of my body that pregnancy effects. Who would have guessed that rotting teeth, hair loss, and foot size change because of a baby!?!Austins First Day of School (1st Grade):
Austin started school on Wednesday. He is in Miss Rachael's class, and she is amazing! He is very lucky to have her. Austin got up and was ready for school at about 7:10 (dressed, bed made, piano practiced, and backpack ready). Impressive (but we'll see how long that lasts). I dropped him off, and he found his good friend, Parker to sit by on the story rug. He was so excited! On the way out of the parking lot, I hit the fire hydrant. Nice! The parking lot was full, so I parked in a gravel area with quite a few weeds. I was backing out and hit something. When I pulled forward, I realized that the fire hydrant was covered with huge weeds and I didn't see it. So, first day of school came with the first dent in the van. Oops!

Austin waltzed in the door at 3:30 without his backpack or lunchbox. When I asked him where they were, he said that he couldn't find them when he left. I'm thinking in my head ("A brand new backpack and lunchbox...and they didn't even last one day"). Luckily, my mom was at our house (we went to Costco while Austin was at school), and she very patiently drove him back to school. The backpack was in the cabinet, exactly where he left it. What am I going to do with that boy! We celebrated with a box of doughnuts and a pencil cake with the neighbor kids.

Paige's First Taste of Food:
We started feeding Paige food this past week. We started with rice cereal, then some oatmeal cereal. We have since added bananas and carrots (not at the same time). She loves it! As soon as we put it in her mouth, she starts humming and kicking her feet. She learned very quickly to open her mouth when she sees the spoon. And she's getting better at controlling her tongue. Don't worry - she still makes a huge mess. I especially love it when she has a mouth full of bright orange carrots and decides to grab her bib and shove it in her mouth. Orange everywhere!First Fruit of the Season:
My tomatoes are finally starting to ripen, and I picked some for lunch today. I had a delicious cucumber and tomato bagel sandwich today. It was soooo good! Fresh picked tomatoes - one of my very favorite things in the whole world. I love this time of the year. I have a ton of them if anyone wants some. I also have a lot of zucchini. Just give me a call or stop by if you want some. (As you can see, Paige is almost sitting up - just a couple more weeks.)

Too Much TV

Okay...I thought I was pretty good at monitoring my kid's TV watching. We don't have cable, and they basically only watch PBS shows. But, I guess the Infomertial advertising works well on kids.

Yesterday, Greg went out to check on the lawn. We have a blow-up swimming pool, and it left a dead spot on the grass. The lawn does not look very good; there is a perfect imprint of the swimming pool. Austin said, "You need Patch Perfect. You set it, and forget it." It sent Greg into fits of laughter, which Austin did not understand. He said, "Really, Dad. It's available now."

My Funny Kids

Macy and Austin decided to "sneak" (which really means "steal") some food out of the pantry tonight after Greg told them not to. Dinner was almost ready, and we didn't want it to spoil their dinner. They snuck into the backyard. When Greg realized what they had done, he locked the back door to see if they liked it when we ignored them. They pounded on the door for about 10 minutes, then Greg finally went outside. Macy said in her best pouty voice, "You hurt my feelings, Dad. You need to give my feelings back."

While getting ready for bed, Greg and Austin were having a discussion about "infinity" (one of Austin's favorite subjects). He kept saying something was "infinity plus one" or "infinity plus one hundred." Greg explained, again, that there was no such thing. Infinity was the highest number, there was nothing higher. Austin thought for minute and asked, "Well...what's the number right before infinity?" If anyone knows, please enlighten us so we can answer the questions of our six-year-old! I thought I could at least answer all of his questions until he started taking algebra, but he's much smarter than us already.

Brooke's Day

We were invited to participate in the most wonderful day yesterday! Our good friends are in town to finalize the adoption of their gorgeous baby, Brooke. She is six months old, and they were sealed to her yesterday in the Salt Lake Temple. Steve & Liz - Thank you so much for allowing us to share in this amazing experience with you. The spirit was just absolutely incredible, and it is such a short, sweet, touching ordinance. It is so hard to describe the power of the priesthood or the feeling of the Holy Ghost, but when I was sitting there yesterday, I never wanted to leave that room. We are so happy for you and your sweet little family. Love you guys!

It was hot (102 degrees), and people didn't want to stand outside very long for picture taking, but we got a few. Brooke and Tyler - you two are so adorable! Greg and I were commenting on how handsome Tyler is (killer with that dimple!).

More Pictures...I'm Having So Much Fun!

We drove up to Bear Lake Friday morning and came back Saturday morning for a quick reunion with a family that Greg grew up with. We spent the day on the beach with most of our cousins. I got to play around with my camera. I'm having so much fun!

President Faust

As many of you know, President Faust passed away on Friday. We talked about it today in Primary, and one of the 8-year-old boys said matter-of-factly, "Yep...Time to cross him off the list." Children are so open and honest about their feelings.

After Macy was born, and I had significant back problems, every doctor I went to said not to move all day. Dumb advice, but I followed it. There was nothing on TV during the day, so I kind of got hooked on the BYU station that aired conference addresses and various talks. It was there that I discovered how much I truly loved President Faust. Of course I love and try to follow all of the apostles, but there was just something about President Faust that made me feel a real connection. He seemed to be so genuine whenever he spoke; and it seemed as though he always spoke from the heart. I always listened extra closely whenever he spoke in conference, and he always made a personal connection. When I heard of his death, I wasn't surprised because he had been very frail lately, and I wasn't really sad. All I could think was how amazing that reunion is with his Savior. This genuine, honest, kind-hearted man that lived his life to serve. It must be such a happy occasion. It has really made me think about my life and what kind of reunion I will have when it is my turn to face my Savior. I just need to do what President Hinckley keeps preaching: try a little harder and do a little better. Anyway...President Faust really touched my life, and I will miss him.

The talk in Sacrament Meeting was very interesting (we went to my sister's ward). The man told about his grandfather who served a mission in Brazil in 1940, and he actually trained President Faust when he was a greenie. He talked about how his grandfather had only baptized one person throughout his 3 years in Brazil, a father of three boys. Eventually though, this man's wife ad children joined the church, and they were sealed in the temple. All three son's served missions and many of their children have served missions. After some research, it was determined that tens of thousands of people have joined the church all because of this one man (who was a hard-working missionaries only convert). It just made me think about how much we don't understand how our lives touch the lives of others. We may never know who we may comfort, help, inspire, etc. There have certainly been many, many people who have affected me and my life so deeply, and I never told them. I can think of old teachers, Young Women leaders, neighbors, relatives, my husband and children, friends, friends of friends, etc. who may have said something or perhaps I just observed an act of kindness who have had such a large impact on who I am or who I want to become. Some of these people have died and I will never see them again in this life; some people are such a part of my past that I will probably never see them again; some people are such a constant in my life that it seems like they will always be around; and some people are new to my life. Thank you to all of you who do so much on my behalf every day. I am so blessed to know so many amazing, talented, kind, and caring people!

Too Many Words...How About Some Pictures!?!

When I asked my brutally honest and loving sister (not to mention beautiful - just in case you're reading this, Maddie) if she read my blog, she said with a sigh, 'There are just too many words." So, here are a few pictures. Greg has been begging me for years to get a hobby, so he bought me a very nice camera for our anniversary. (The deal was "No Gifts"; I guess I should be grateful that he never keeps our pacts.) I've always loved photography. Whenever I need to "get away" for a couple of hours, one of the things I like to do is go to Barnes & Noble and look through their photography books. I was just always afraid that I didn't have the talent ("the eye"). I probably don't, but I know I can do better with just a little knowledge and practice. Here are a few of my first shots. I'm trying to look at angles and light; it has been very fun! Thanks honey.

She wasn't crying, her eye just waters constantly because of the blocked tear ducts. I thought it was adorable when one little tear landed on her cheek.

Jen took this one, but I absolutely love it (I love every picture she takes). Look how she gets Paige's eyes to sparkle. Amazing!