WARNING: Oozing With Romantic Corny-Ness

Ten years ago, I knelt across an alter (with tears in my Dad's eyes) and made vows to a man that I thought I loved deeply. Year after year, those vows take on more depth and meaning as (with tears in my eyes) I begin to understand "love." Ten years later, I am overcome with gratitude to this amazing man for walking by my side, adoring me along this journey, and giving me everything I need in order to truly love deeply.

Greg,

I love the way that you love life and how you try to get the very most out of every moment. Your fearlessness pushes me to try exciting things that I would never do on my own, and my life is definitely enriched because of it. I love that after a long day at work, you walk through that door completely energized and dedicated to me, the five little "Mini Me's" that we've created, and the eternal concept of "family." I love that infectious laugh of yours. I love the feel of your fingers interlaced with mine. I love the way you "tell it like it is" and put me in my place when I deserve it. I love the way that you melt when I cry, and I definitely love the fact that after numerous pregnancies, your eyes occasionally check me out like the night we met. I love that everything you are is what gives my life purpose.

Thank you. I love you...so much.

Fudge

So, the other day, we were making dinner and waiting (impatiently) for Dad to come home. My kids were playing the "Name Game." You know: Macy, Macy Bo-Bacy, Bananafana Fo-Facy, etc.

All of a sudden, Austin runs up to me in a panic, looks around, and whispers: "Mom! Paige just said...(looking around again and spelling out)...F-U-D-G-E."

To quote Ralphie in "The Christmas Story," Austin didn't spell "Fudge." "(He) said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the 'F-dash-dash-dash' word." As a mother, I died a little inside as I realized that my children actually don't wander around the world in a lovely, protective bubble no matter how desperately I have tried to create one for them.

Now, I will admit that there are some words that, if they were to come out of my child's mouth (hypothetically speaking of course), could possibly be traced back to me. I like to call them "Bible Cuss Words." You know, in Utahese we would say "Heck" and "Darn." But I have never in my life said THAT word. So, I asked him where he heard that word. He told me that he read it on the wall in the boy's bathroom at school. Chalk that up to yet another reason why homeschooling actually makes a TON of sense to me.

After a few sighs (on my part), I spent the next few minutes explaining that he should never, ever say that word and why. Well...not exactly why. He is only eight years old after all. The entire time, Macy was piping up:

"What are you talking about?"

"What word?"

"I want to know!"

"Why don't you just tell me?"

I tried to tell Macy to "Mind Her Business" (as they say on Long Island), but I thought Austin's suggestion was actually pretty funny. Very seriously, Austin explained: "Macy. Don't worry. As soon as you learn how to read, you'll know what word we're talking about."

I couldn't help but laugh. Then, I walked into her adorable 5-year-old room and threw away the "Hooked on Phonics" reading set that she LOVES.

Reading is overrated.

20 Questions

I took Macy to the store with me while my amazing friend, Tera, babysat the others.  She wore a Sunday dress, pink socks with ducks on them (pulled all the way up - hitting her leg about mid-shin), brown Mary Janes, and two pink, sparkly clippies that she put in right above her forehead.  She was stylin'!  I love how she picks out everything that she loves and throws together "an outfit."  I guess she figures everything she loves must match.  She was in her room for about 10 minutes "getting ready."  She walked out of her room so proud.  Adorable!

This was our conversation on the way to the store (about a mile away from my front door):

"Mom, how are toys made?"

"In a toy factory."

"Mom, how are humans made?"

"You remember when I was pregnant with the twins.  Babies come from Mommy's bellies."

"Yeah.  But how does Heavenly Father get the babies here?"

"When there's a Mommy and a Daddy, Heavenly Father gives them a baby."

"Yeah.  But how do the babies get inside the Mommy's tummy?"

"It takes a special seed...(rethought)...actually an egg that grows into a baby."

"So you just open your mouth really wide and Heavenly Father drops the eggs in your mouth and then it goes into your belly?"

"No...(Holy Crap I'm bad at this.  Where is your father?)...I actually already have the eggs inside my belly.  Some of them turn into babies and some of them don't."

"Mom, what does 'one week' mean?"

"It's seven days."

"Well, what is seven days?"

"When the sun comes up, it's morning.  When it goes down, it's night.  That makes one day.  It has to happen seven times and we call it 'a week'."

"Mom, how do the sun rays get all the way to earth?"

"The earth rotates, which means it goes round and round.  Right now, our part of the earth is facing the sun, so the rays reach down and shine on us.  Later on, the earth will turn and move away from the sun.  Then, it will be night."

"So it's dark in Hawaii right now?"

"Not Hawaii, but it is nighttime in Japan."  

"Mom, where is Arizona?"

"When we get home, I'll get out the map and show you."

"Mom, how is chocolate made?  Do you know how to make chocolate?  I don't really know how."

"No.  But I do know how to make chocolate chip cookies."

One mile people.  I walked into Target mentally exhausted.  I love her.   

The Perfect Day

It can be so easy to get wrapped up with the "have to's" and doldrums of day-to-day life.  Even fun things like vacations and family activities can be filled with stress.  Every once in a while, we are blessed with an absolutely perfect day.  This was one of them.

Austin was baptized by his father on July 4th.  Both of his grandfathers offered the prayers, and both of his grandmothers offered the talks.  Greg's mom spoke about baptism and how it is the key to unlocking the blessings of heaven.  She talked about how Austin is following Jesus Christ and is being perfectly obedient.  My mom spoke about the Holy Ghost.  She talked about how to hear the Holy Ghost and then told him when she heard felt the Holy Ghost bear witness to her for the first time.  She issued a challenge: That Austin will do something during the Sacrament to feel the Spirit (read the scriptures, look at the Hymn Book, look at pictures of Christ, etc.).  So far, he has done really well with that challenge.  

The water for the baptism must have been nice and toasty because the mirror was completely fogged over.  I had to stand up with the small children just so I could see it.  Greg practiced with him over and over again in the living room, and Austin was so excited.  Austin was also confirmed a member of the church and received the Holy Ghost.  Greg gave him a beautiful blessing.  He spoke about the joy and happiness that Austin has brought into our lives.  He blessed him to move forward in life aspiring to righteous moments: receiving the priesthood, attending the temple, serving a mission, and taking a girl to the temple to be married.  

When I was 15 years old, I worked at the Take-5 Drive Inn in Murray.  This older woman ran the place.  She spent the day perched on her stool, making schedules, shouting orders, and talking - nonstop.  She was raising her two grandchildren, and I remember her saying that the oldest one wasn't baptized when he was eight because she didn't believe that he was mature enough to make that decision.  I am not judging that decision (it was hers to make, and not mine), but it has always stuck with me.  Are eight-year-olds really capable of making that decision, or are they just doing it to please their parents?  Was I ready to make that decision at eight?  Did I understand the implication's?  

The answers to those questions are complex.  Last year, when Austin turned seven, I thought to myself, "There is no way he is going to be ready for baptism next year.  He just seems so immature."  I have been completely amazed at the difference between age 7 and age 8.  I have watched his brain change this past year.  He seems to process things differently, and the complexity of subjects has grown immensely.  His questions are much more thought-provoking and we have discussed very mature topics.  He started to lose his innocence (I have to admit that I shed a few tears over this one).  He is definitely more capable, but it has come at the cost of some of his childhood.

Then, I went to his Bishop's Interview with him.  I sat outside while he met with our loving, kind Bishop.  Finally, he motioned for me to join them.  He held the door for me and waited for me to be seated.  As soon as I walked in that room, I was overwhelmed with the Spirit.  I am so grateful for a good Bishop (and good Bishops everywhere) who teach and love my children.  We discussed what they had been discussing, and I felt strongly that Austin was ready.  I have no doubt about the Age of Accountability.  It is time for him to move into this new part of his life, with the Holy Ghost as his guide to help mold and refine his spirit.  I believe that Austin has his own testimony of Joseph Smith, President Monson, and Jesus Christ.  It may not be as strong as it will be in the future, but in his eight-year-old way, he has a knowledge and belief of these principles.  

One Example:

About a year ago, we had a Family Home Evening centered around the First Article of Faith ("We believe in God the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost").  We talked about how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have a body just like us.  Then, we talked about how we don't really know what the Holy Ghost looks like, but we feel him and "talk" to him using our Spirit.   Austin piped up: "I know what the Holy Ghost looks like."  At first I thought he was just being argumentative (which is extremely common with my children).  So, I said, "Okay.  What does he look like?"  Austin: "He is the brightest light that you've ever seen."  This peaked my interest, and I quickly repented of my previous thoughts.  I asked, "Why do you say that?"  Austin replied, "Well, when Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, they were brighter than the sun.  So, the Holy Ghost must be even brighter."  

I was impressed.  He continues to amaze me with his observations and ideas.  It was a perfect day and a perfect beginning to his journey in the gospel.  Afterward, we had a very fun family picnic.  The weather was gorgeous (a little warm in the sunshine, but just right in the shade -with a slight breeze), the food was DE-Lish (catering from Jason's Deli), and the company was lovely.  We stayed for about four hours.  I went to bed so happy.  These are the days/moments that make everything else worth while.

Macers:

My Little Stinker Pot:

My Growing Boys (Spence & Kade):

Enjoying a Little "Arts in the Park" by Matt:

A little football:

Getting Ready to Rumble/Establishing a Baseball Game

Relaxing in the Shade:

The Cousins:

Liz even snapped a few pictures of me with my sweet girlie:

...Absolute Perfection!

If There Are Any Readers Out There...Let Me Pick Your Brain

So, the topic of marriage has been on my mind lately.  As I watch some new marriages begin, and some current ones end, I have been thinking a lot about marriage (in general) and what makes it work.  

Greg and I celebrate ten years in just a few weeks.  When I think of my parents or my in-laws who have been together for 35 or 45 years, ten seems like we are just beginning.  I don't know what I will think in another 20 or 30 years, but as I look over the past ten, I have learned a lot.  My dad once made the comment in regard to marriage that "you don't need to create problems, they will come to you."  I never would have anticipated some of the challenges that we've faced.  I am definitely not the person Greg married.  That young girl didn't have five kids or a mortgage or health problems or 15 church callings or friends and family who have suffered, etc.  I am a little more seasoned, if you will.  Hopefully, the seasoning has created a pleasant, sweet taste instead of a bitter one.  My dad has also professed his theory several times: When times are tough, just hang on because they are bound to get better.  When times are good, enjoy it because trials will come soon enough.  

So, what do you think?  I know this is an intensely personal subject (so feel free to comment as "Anonymous" if you want), but I'm curious what works for other people.  What makes your marriage work?  As you observe "Strong Marriages," what seems to be "the secret?"  Is there a "secret?" 

Greg always says that it boils down to selflessness.  When he is genuinely putting my needs first, and I am putting his needs first, we are practically giddy, marriage feels effortless, and everything else in my life seems manageable.  As I've thought about it, I am very blessed/lucky to be in a marriage where I feel happy, content, and full of gratitude for this person who is walking by my side through this life (who knows - maybe somebody else might not be as happy in my situation, but it seems to work well for us).  In my marriage, we say "I'm sorry" a lot...A LOT.  And we forgive easily.  We also forget easily (old arguments/pains are not rehashed every time we get upset).  I think we are doing better with accepting the other person for their strengths and weaknesses and loving the entire package instead of trying to change the other person or alter those "weaknesses."  

I also feel extremely grateful for all those girls that he dated before me and all those guys (there were hundreds...really) who I dated.  We both made a lot of relationship mistakes with other people, and we learned so much from them.  Sometimes I feel guilty for those mistakes and my immaturity, but I realize that I grew and it has helped me in my marriage.  So, I am grateful.  Every guy I dated had some amazing qualities.  Over the years, I learned what I really wanted in a husband, and Greg exemplified so many of those qualities from the night we met.  

I feel a bit disconnected from everyone.  This is probably a combination of summer + having two, two-month-old babies.  I don't get out much.  I know that not as many people are blogging these days, but I would love to hear your two cents.  Do you agree/disagree with me?  What do you think?  

4:39 a.m.

Background: Yesterday, we celebrated Austin's birthday with an official "Friend" Birthday Party (pictures to come).  Austin received several Star Wars Lego sets (his favorite thing on this planet), and his Grandma and Grandpa and friends did not disappoint.  

At 4:39 this morning, the birthday boy bounded into our bedroom and excited exclaimed: "Dad!  Look!  I finished Darth Vader's TIE Fighter!"

As I recall, I was up at that time of the night eight years ago.  This time, the tears were because of laughter instead of pain.  Oh, and there wasn't any morphine.  Happy Birthday, Bud!  We sure do love you!