Family Cocktail

Greg and I are getting old, or else we already have way too many kids.  I'll tell you how I know this.  When we were young, we always had the radio on in the car.  My husband is a connoisseur of sorts when it comes to 80s music.  Greg used to play the "Name this Band" game.  I was terrible at it.  I finally started answering "Duran Duran" for every song, and he eventually only started playing the "game" when a Duran Duran song came on the radio (which means that I won every time).  That was a long time ago - before we fully understood the meaning of "peace and quiet" - before we had a son whose passion for life is manifest by the fact that his voice only knows one volume (HIGH) - before we had darling little girls whose mouths never, ever stop jabbering (sometimes Macy asks me if I'm listening to her, and I have to be honest and tell her that I was tuning her out because the brain can only process so many words in a given time period).    

Greg and I are old now because when we get in the car and and immediately turn off the radio, we both sigh as if the gentle buzz of the engine and the hum of the heater are the most soothing sounds we've ever heard.  We drove to Bear Lake last weekend.  We strategically left at bedtime so our little noise-makers were quiet almost instantly as they slept.  This gave us a couple of hours to actually talk to each other without any interruptions.  It was heaven! 

We talked a little bit about how each one of these kids are so different from each other.  They each have their own personalities, their own God-given gifts and abilities, their own struggles, their own idiosyncrasies, their own passions, and their own challenges.  How is it possible to add two more to this mixture?  Two more unique individuals that will present two completely new sets of blessings and challenges.  How can there be seven people in one family that are so different, yet share some similarities and most importantly, share a common goal?  This will be so interesting...so fascinating...to meet these two, new little spirits and see how they fit into the mix.  

One of Austin's gifts is that he is so good with little kids.  A couple of weeks ago, I looked over and he had placed Max on the couch in this comfy little chair.  He was sitting next to him and talking to him.  It was adorable.  He is always taking care of Macy and Paige.  Macy can convince him to do just about anything for her, and he happily obliges.  When Paige wakes up in the morning, she calls for Austin, and most of the time, he goes right to her and takes her out of the crib and gets her some milk.  I am grateful beyond words that he has this desire.

Macy is being shaped a little by her doting father and brother, and she basks in all of the glory.  She is so tender-hearted.  I can't even call her from the other room because "yelling" breaks her heart.  She is a genius at make-believe.  Sometimes, I pretend like I'm working, but I'm really just observing her and her little friends as they come up with the most creative and humorous scenarios.  There is not a day that goes by that Macy, in some form or another, doesn't bring a smile to my face.  That girl makes me remember to laugh and find joy in simple things.  

My sweet Paige.  This has been an interesting experience of bringing children into the world.  We have had our own, unique struggles with this process, and I am overwhelmed with the thought of having five (I never thought it would happen).  I don't take any of my children for granted, and I know that they are here as the result of many, many prayers, great faith, and ultimately the grace of God.  However, I feel like Paige was truly my own personal "gift" from a loving Heavenly Father.  More than any of my other children, I feel like the Lord knew what I needed, when I needed it, and Paige was the answer.  And I'm not just talking the "time of my life," I mean the day and even the time that she was born.  Greg blessed her with compassion and a loving heart, and I have seen this manifest time after time in her very short two years.  I believe she was sent to bless our family with her love.

She is already two, although it won't be "official" for another couple of weeks.  She definitely has her opinions and she is as independent as they come.  She has started fighting going to bed.  Last week, I put her down and the screaming and begging started ("No Mommy.  No.  Don't leave.  No night-night, Mommy.  Pease!!!").  Instead of walking out of the room and letting her cry for a minute or two, I stopped and leaned over her crib and rubbed her face.  "Shhh.  Would you like Mommy to sing you a song?  Yes?  Okay."  She made a few requests, and I quietly sang and caressed her face in an attempt to calm down her hysterics.  For the fourth or fifth song, Paige asked for "Bushel and a Peck," and I gave in like the big fat sucker of a Mom that I need to be more often.  About halfway through the song, she looked up at me with her lively, dark eyes, and said, "I dub you, Mommy."  I smiled but just kept singing.  Worried that I hadn't heard, she said again with more sweetness and more fervor, "Mommy...I dub you."  "I love you, too, Paige."  Then, I had to stop serenading because I was so touched by her incredibly sincere, spontaneous outpouring of love.  When I left, she didn't cry and drifted peacefully off to sleep.  

How is it possible for a baby really - she isn't even two - to know how and when to use those words without prompting, and to really, really mean them?  All of my children have repeated that phrase after we've said it, but she says it all the time, completely and utterly spontaneously.  Here I was, thinking that I was being the unselfish mother, giving my baby just a few more minutes of my exhausted day, and she had blessed me - yet again - with her pure love and compassion.  I am overwhelmed.  I am grateful for these moments when my testimony of families is deepened.  Heavenly Father purposely put us in these units to become more like our Savior.  (For instance, my mother commented that if these twins don't teach me patience, once and for all, then I am certainly a lost cause.  So true!)  But thankfully, it isn't always the challenges that teach us.  Sometimes, it is the pure, unadulterated spirits that reside in our home that give us a glimpse of the heart of our Savior, and I could never thank Him enough for the beautiful lessons that I am learning.

For Madeline

The title sounds like it should be a sweet, folk-style ballad dedicated by Simon & Garfunkel, but instead this is just an attempt to cheer up my little sister. Last week at school (in the barren iceland known as Logan, UT), Maddie tripped on some ice and fell. She shattered the bones just above her right wrist. She had to have surgery yesterday to repair the damage. They put a metal plate in her arm and nine screws - nine!!! Apparently, she was in the most horrific pain after the surgery. They gave her a ridiculous amount of morphine and still couldn't get her pain under control. They finally ended up giving her a couple of percocet (a few hours apart) and she was able to relax and sleep. They told my parents that the pain medication and anesthesia generally make patients emotional. For women, they generally cry a lot, and men generally get angry (hmmm...interesting). Apparently, she has been quite sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat.  My dad was teasing her about being a wimp, and she burst into tears.  Honestly Dad!  This is your fourth daughter - you'd think you would know better by now.  :) 

I sincerely hope Greg with forgive me, but these always cheer me up.  It seems impossible to cry when you look at these beauties!  I know this was all before your time (Happy 20th Birthday this weekend), but honestly, Don Johnson eat your heart out!  A few of my favorite things about these pictures: the California suntan, the pegged pants, the gold chain, the absolutely "To-Die-For" hairstyle, the fabulous dresses and "Big Hair" of all of his dates, holding his date and a teddy bear, the white gloves (did she have cooties?), and of course, the light pink tanktop!  (I sure love you, Greg!  You make me smile!  My high school dance pictures are almost old enough to enjoy as much as these - almost.)  Here's to hoping that you feel better soon, Mads!

True Heroes

I am writing this to ease my own heart and empty my own head.  I sincerely hope that I do not offend anyone, and I apologize if that happens.  

You probably all had that assignment in school - at some point - to determine what made a "real" hero.  I remember reading "The Odyssey" in 10th Grade and discussing the heroic traits of Odysseus and comparing those traits to historical figures versus "modern heroes" (i.e. Michael Jordan - it was the 90s) versus people in our own lives that we consider to be personal heroes (i.e. a WWII veteran).  I was in a meeting Friday night where we were re-introduced to this topic, so that is one reason that it has been on my mind.  I've also been "sucked into" some of the PBS documentaries that have been running the past couple of weeks on Abraham Lincoln.  One documentary specifically dealt with de-mythifying Abe Lincoln, or basically getting to the truth of this great man.  One segment showed an AP History class debating whether Lincoln truly is a "hero," even when the class had been shown his "darker side."  It was a very interesting debate, one that has deepened my appreciation for him as a human being, dealing with his own issues both political and personal. 

But tonight, as my heart breaks and I have been fighting tears for hours, I want to share my thoughts on another type of hero known as Birth Mothers.  Years ago, after extensive testing, our good friends found out that they were not able to have children.  I remember that phone call distinctly as we discussed the mourning process as their dream of having a family had essentially died.  I remember hanging up that phone and thinking to myself: There could be nothing more difficult than this trial.

A few years later, we again found ourselves on the phone night and day getting updates from this family as they fought for their darling little boy while sitting in a hotel room in a neighboring state.  As we learned more about this birth mother and her unshakable faith in the Lord's answer, I thought to myself: No, placing your child for adoption has got to be the most difficult trial.  At this point, I had the opportunity to have a baby myself.  I knew that as soon as the two little lines appear on your sacred urine stick, a mother loves that little being inside of her.  I knew that after nine months, I was merely going through a formality of giving birth to this child that I already knew.  I had a strong relationship with this baby, and it was my pleasure to meet him face-to-face even though we already had an indescribable bond.  I knew that this birth mother felt the same way about her little boy.  Yet, she also knew that she (and his birth father) could never give this baby the blessings that an intact family could give him.  She was completely unselfish.  It was painful for her to give up her son.  Of course she cried and mourned his loss.  Miraculously, she even nursed him for the first couple of days knowing that anything she could give him would strengthen his body in the future.  Completely and totally unselfish!

Since that time, my life has been touched on several different occasions by women and men that have unselfishly placed their children in two-parent homes.  We have had experiences inside our own family, with close friends, and even with complete strangers.  These women are true heroes in my eyes.  Their example makes me strive to be a better mother; a mother more dedicated to putting the needs of my child before my own.  Their example makes me strive to be a better wife; a wife that shows her children a living example of a loving marriage.  Their example makes me strive to be a better daughter of God; a Daughter who puts complete trust in the Savior and His plan and does so with faith and happiness so that my children may feel the Spirit reside in our home.  Their example makes me want to be a better American; an American who stands up for my beliefs and fights more fervently for laws and leaders that support and defend those beliefs.  Their example makes me realize that there is pain and suffering in every life - that we are definitely not immune - and it is our role to help ease the pain and suffering of others through unselfish service.  Thank you to all of you who have been touched by these great women (and men)!  Thank you for impacting my life so profoundly.

The Ensign arrived yesterday so I flipped through the pages and read the headings of the stories.  In one story, I found an example of Christ and His Disciples in John 9:2-3.  The disciples see a man who was born blind, and they ask the Savior, "Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?"  The Savior answered, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God shall be made manifest in him."  Sometimes it seems like bad things happen to good people or that the "bad guys" win too often.  Sometimes it seems unfair that "blessings" are given to certain people.  However, I have come to realize that my thinking was wrong all along - There is no trial that is "the most difficult."  We all have our own trials, and yet I firmly believe in this scripture: Trials are given to manifest the works of God; to help us turn our own lives over to the Savior and trust in Him to carry our burden and have faith in "His Plan."  I have had those experiences, and I know that the answer and the peace and the love of Christ does come (eventually).   

At it Again!

This girl, right here, is hilarious! I believe that God made her not only adorable but too funny for words so we preserve her life on a regular basis (because she can definitely be a stinker). Macy is a girl full of fetishes (or, as my Dad says: "high maintenance"). A couple of her obsessions include death and Jesus. I just had to write these down before I forget.

#1:

The other night, we were invited to the Blue and Gold Banquet. Austin is turning eight this year, so all the "prospective" 8-year-olds were invited to get a taste for scouting. Of course, the meeting starts out with the presentation of the colors followed by the Pledge of Allegiance. Everyone stands (Macy is on a chair so she can see) and we recite The Pledge together. As everyone is sitting down, Macy declares in a very matter-of-fact voice (we are in the cultural hall so there is quite an echo): "Hey, I know 'Justice.' She was in my school class, but then she died." What?!? Greg and I (and everyone else in the room) were laughing so hard.

#2:

Macy walked out of her room yesterday morning and declared: "Jesus woke me up." We couldn't tell if she was happy with that or slightly irritated.

#3:

Tonight at dinner (this is high quality conversation at its best):

Macy: "Mom, what if all humans were fishes? (pause) Then we would all live in Jesus's fishbowl." Of course we would!

Austin and Macy

Austin and Macy wanted their own Jib Jabs as well (since I wouldn't let them watch the Valentine's one).  So, here you go guys!

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Happy Valentines Day!

For Valentines Day, I thought I would post a video from the Nanny Cam hanging in our bedroom.  WARNING: May not be suitable for young children - or my father!

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I love you, Greg!  

Who Needs Excedrin?

My family was over on Sunday for dinner.  Matt had a headache, so he spent the majority of the time asleep on the recliner.  Nurse Macy thoughtfully attended to him.  She gave him some TLC (she snuggled up next to him) and then put this tiger on his forehead to help ease his headache (notice the purple plastic cell phone next to his ear just in case he needs to make a call).  

I should note that Matt has no idea that these pictures were taken - he was snoring loudly the entire time.  He is going to be a fabulous dad; it takes talent to sleep through four-year-old headache cures!

The Narwhal - An Actual Arctic Animal

Greg and I are so proud of our first diorama together.  Our assignment was to create an entire arctic scene around our arctic animal: The Narwhal.  I always thought that the Narwhal was a fictional character (kind of like the unicorn) that animators "invented" to be part of the North Pole in all of the Christmas movies.  I was wrong.  The Narwhal is actually a whale that travels in pods.  The males grow two teeth, and one of them grows long into a spiral tusk.  They hunt plankton, shrimp, squid, and arctic fish.  Their predators are the Killer Whale, walruses, polar bears, sharks, and Inuits (who hunt them).  Not fictional at all...hmmmm...Fascinating!

In all seriousness, Austin worked really hard on this project.  We decided to do shrinky dinks, and Austin drew all of the animals himself.  Some of them (polar bear, walrus, and igloo) were printed out and copied onto the "special" shrinking paper, and some of them were drawn free hand.  He worked ALL DAY on Saturday on his drawing.  We did help him with the shrinking process (it involved a hot oven), but by the end, he was putting them in and taking them out himself.  Greg helped immensely with hanging the animals and securing the ice, although Austin decided where everything should be placed.  He was extremely focused and did an amazing job, especially considering that he worked on it ALL day.  We are proud of him for his work! He worked so hard that we rewarded him with ice cream after bath time.   (Macy dropped her chocolate shake all over the floor of the car.  She is slightly on the clumsy side.)  

We knew that sharks hunted Narwhals, but I couldn't figure out which shark.  This is our conversation while trying to "Google" the information:

Me: Would it be the Great White?

Austin: No, they live in warmer waters.  Great Whites don't live in the arctic.

Me: What about this kind of shark (I can't remember which one I found)?

Austin: Probably not because those sharks don't have teeth.  I don't know how it would eat a Narwhal without teeth.  The Narwhal has really thick skin and a lot of blubber.

Me: How about the Greenland shark?

Austin: Yeah, it could probably be the Greenland shark.  They are big, like Great Whites, and they have tons of sharp teeth.  Yeah...That's probably right.

Me: Whew!  (Thinking: I can now cross "sharks" off the list of topics that I can intelligently discuss with my 7-year-old.  Come on!  How could I not know that Great White Sharks don't live in the arctic?!?) 

Macy can be Austin's greatest cheerleader.  She walked in when he was working on it and said (very slowly with great emphasis): "Austin...that...is...so...amazing!  You are doing a really...really good job!"  She also gets very specific at times.  "Austin, you are doing a great job at staying in the lines."  It is so fun to watch them together (when they are getting along).

A couple of life lessons that I taught my son during this project:

• Even though the teacher gives you two weeks to complete a project, you should just think about it and mull over your ideas for the majority of the time.  Then, you should take the Saturday before it's due and devote the ENTIRE day to this one project.  It can turn out fabulously!
• Rather than keep the outline of the assignment and follow it exactly, you can just briefly look over it on the day that it is assigned, and then lose it.  Just do your best to remember everything and hope that it is good enough.
•  When you've finally finished, instead of putting it safely on a table or out of reach of your younger sisters, you should balance it on top of the staircase which tempts Macy (we've already established her clumsiness) to knock it down the stairs.  (Greg actually taught him this lesson.)  It was a close call.

Side Note: Sometimes I watch "Cold Case" (until I start having dreams about dead people and then I have to stop watching Jerry Bruckheimer shows).  I was watching one the other day about a woman who went to work while her husband went to war.  When he returned, he wanted her to quit her job.  She explained that she could never be content with being a wife and mother now that she had experienced "work."  This isn't a discussion about working mothers verses stay-at-home mothers.  It's just that as Greg and I were going to bed on Saturday night, we talked about how we will probably remember this day as one of the highlights of our life.  Maybe we aren't out there "changing the world," but we spent the entire day, working together as a family, helping our son and learning about a subject that he enjoys.  This really is a great time of our life, and there are days (like this) in which I feel totally content (and extremely grateful) being "just" a wife and a mother.

Draper Temple Open House

Last Saturday, we had the opportunity to take Austin and Macy (along with Greg's extended family) to the Draper Temple Open House.  It was insanity!  It took us three and a half hours.  We are extremely grateful to Lisa and Matt for keeping Paige since I cannot imagine the stress of hauling her through the temple for that length of time with all the crowds.  Having said that, it was a wonderful experience.  The kids were excited all week to finally go inside the temple.  After the video, Macy turned to Greg and said, "This place is so beautiful.  Thank you for bringing me here!"  All I could think was, "Please...please feel that way in about 20 years."  On the bus ride back to our car, both of our kids asked if they could go again before the dedication.  Macy's favorite part was the chandeliers (she told Lisa "That place is so sparkly"), and both of them were quite enamored by the sealing rooms and the large mirrors in which you can "see forever."  Austin started giggling when he pointed out that I was walking through the men's bathroom, and the gorgeous artwork completely captured them.  It is such a beautiful building and we had such a great experience sharing it with our kids.

After the tour, we entered the cultural hall of a nearby chapel for cookies and more artwork.  (I think the 14th Article of Faith should be "We believe in cookies.")  Macy took her cookie and water and sat right underneath a picture of Joseph Smith.  She just looked up at him and stared while she ate her snack.  She was adorable!  

If you have a chance, check out this blog, particularly the post on January 28th entitled "Bored and Lonely" (although her most recent post quotes Michelle and her touching thoughts on grief which is also an excellent read).  Molly, the author, lost her little girl, Lucy, about 8 months ago.  Her entire blog is so inspirational as she and her husband are struggling through their first year without their sweet little Lucy.  In "Bored and Lonely," she posted an email that she received shortly after Lucy died.  It is such a beautifully written explanation about how the temple changes lives - for now and for eternity.  It is such a sweet testimony of the temple and why we (as Latter Day Saints) build them and strive so hard to attend them regularly.  Enjoy (and take the chance to attend the open house if you are in the Salt Lake area - You won't regret it)!