Reason To Get An Insurance Policy #267: The Child with No Fear

Come next Monday, we officially are without health insurance. The following pictures illustrate just one of the five main reasons why I am spending every spare moment researching, comparing, and applying to various insurance companies.

Would it really have been too much to ask to put just a drop of fear into that adorable little body???

Right of Passage: A Christmas Story

*Photos from a recent photoshoot by Fauset Photography

Last night, I took Austin to the store to make a Christmas list. It was so nice for us to spend an hour or so together. Sometimes I forget that this boy was my entire life for so many years. He is the only child that I had completely to myself for three years. Those three years are some of the happiest of my life. Even though Austin was my fussiest baby, I didn’t know it. I was young and naive and inexperienced. Ignorance really is bliss. I just pushed through those first few colicky months. Then, at five months, Austin learned to sit up and his world changed. He became this happy, creative, curious ball of darling energy. He was my little buddy. We did everything together and I truly loved feeding his endless curiosity.

Life got incredibly busy, and babies kept being born, and we started having struggles with Austin’s behavior, and I felt like a constant failure, and Austin changed from toddler to preschooler to little kid to big kid. We desperately needed some time together just to have some fun. I felt complete having my Little Buddy back for a few minutes.

On the way to the store, Austin explained to me (in depth) the ins and outs of Four Square. He is passionate about this game and plays “every recess.” I listened intently and didn’t have the heart to tell him that I easily remember 4^th Grade and Four Square.It was fascinating to listen to him explain the game and his strategy.

I was pleasantly surprised to see how picky he was when it came to his Christmas List.I thought that he would just write everything down that he found, but he didn’t. He was very selective. Even when he found something that he liked, he read the box and really took the time to decide if it was “List Worthy.” When we were walking out of the store, I explained to him that he doesn’t get everything on his list, just a few. He made the point that there weren’t very many items, but I pointed out that some of them are quite expensive (Harry Potter Lego sets come with a pretty hefty price tag). He said, “Yeah, but he doesn’t pay for them?” I said, “He?” Austin responded by saying, “Well…whoever gets the toys.” I asked him who he thought that was, and he hesitatingly said, “You?” (He even looked out the window instead of looking at me when he said it, as if he was guilty or something.) So, I smiled and shook my head.

He was pretty surprised as we talked about how Dad and I are really “Santa.” When one idea would sink in, he would ask more questions. “You are the one who wraps all the presents?” “You are the one who writes the notes?” “You eat the cookies, too? Or do you just break them up?” “How do you disguise your handwriting?” Then, he told me “I guess it is pretty impossible for one person to visit every house in one night.”

I sat there and got a little choked up thinking of all the Christmases that we have spent together. Austin is an absolute joy to buy for. He always gets so excited about his presents and everybody elses. And he has never been shy with his excitement. Every Christmas Eve I find it difficult to sleep because I can’t wait to see the surprise and exhilliration on his face. If I could bottle up Christmas morning, I could market a new antidepressant. It was so sad to see my little boy growing up and losing that part of his childhood.

Then, I started explaining that now that he’s in on this secret, he gets to play Santa with us. I told him how, on Christmas Eve, we’ll put everyone to bed. Then, when the girls are asleep, we’ll get him up and he can help us stuff their stockings. Right away, he started planning how he can find out about Macy’s favorite treats and how she’ll never suspect because she still believes in Santa. Then, he can tell us so we can get her exactly what she loves. The wheels in his brain kept turning and had all these plans for his sisters.

I started getting choked up again, and I told him how much I love being Santa and believing in Santa. I told him the legend of the real Saint Nicholas and how the legend began. I said, “Think about how much you enjoy getting presents on Christmas. Giving them is about a thousand times better.” I told himhow I think the world is a better place by having the “idea” of a Santa Claus. How amazing to have a person whose entire purpose is to give all the children in the entire world gifts. It’s just a happy thought.

Every year I struggle with the commercialism of Christmas. I want my kids to experience the magic of Christmas, and yet have the birth of the Savior and the “reason for the season” be at the forefront of the Christmas season. Over the years, Greg and I have tried several different tactics to help our kids feel the real meaning of Christmas and try to help them find the joy in giving. In that car, I realized that this is the first year that Austin will really “get” it, and I was full of gratitude. He’s not my little boy anymore, but at moments like this, I realize what a strong, giving, loving, and adoring spirit I have in my midst. And I am excited to show him, firsthand this year, how giving can truly be better than receiving.

Let the real magic begin.

The Season of Giving

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!" - Hamilton Wright Mabie

I know that we just had Halloween and even though the Christmas music has started, most of us probably aren't ready to start our celebrations. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas. But, I do like to enjoy my holidays one at a time. I am very much looking forward to Thanksgiving and then enjoying the holiday season (which I define as the month of December).

So, you are probably wondering why (if I feel this way) I am posting about Christmas. Well, in light of my last post, I just wanted to tell people of an opportunity to give this holiday season. As awkward as it is for my family and I to ask for help, the reality is that since Curtis's accident, he has not been able to work. Therefore, in addition to all of the medical bills, there has not been any income for over three months. At this point, Alexie is the main caregiver (trust me, it is an around-the-clock job), and is unable to go out and get a job to support their family.

In an effort to help, a donation account has been set up. I know that a lot of you look for opportunities to help during the holiday season, whether it be in the form of Sub-for-Santa or monetary donations as the year comes to an end for the purpose of tax advantages. I also know that there are so many amazing causes out there to support. I wanted to get the word out that this is just another opportunity to help a family that has suffered from an accident that was not their fault but is left with the repercussions.

Thank you to all of you who are so concerned with our family. We are so grateful for your love, support, and prayers. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many good, GOOD people.

Donation Account: #569353865 at Zion's Bank in Curtis's name.

Since every post deserves an image, here are some pictures of my sister's family from last Christmas:

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other." - Burton Hillis

The Parable of the Curve Ball

*adapted from my dad's testimony last month.

When a batter steps up to the plate, he/she never knows what type of pitch is coming. One of the most difficult pitches to hit is the curve ball. The curve ball is thrown with spin so that its path curves as it approaches the batter. Hence, a pitch may look like it is headed in one direction and unexpectedly change paths. A good hitter can judge the curve ball by following the spin as it leaves the pitcher's hand. By following the threads of the baseball, the batter can anticipate the break and make adjustments before the curve occurs. However, sometimes God can throw a pitch with a baseball that doesn't have any threads, making it impossible to judge directionality.

On August 1st, this is exactly what happened to my sister and her family. It started out as a typical Sunday, except Alexie (my sister) was just recovering from a stomach bug that had been floating around the family for several weeks. She stayed home while her husband, Curtis, took their two children to his parent's house for dinner. After dinner, they started a movie so it was quite late by the time he left for home. With Abby (4) and Max (2) safely fastened in their car seats, Curtis headed for home. The kids were both asleep within minutes of leaving.

About five minutes from home, Curtis approached an intersection. He slowed due to the red light, but when the light changed to green, he stepped on the gas. In the middle of an intersection, a young girl, talking on her cell phone, ran the red light and smashed directly into Curtis going 40-45 mph. She was not paying attention and did not break. The children were rushed to the hospital, but released the next day with aches and pains and Abby had a broken arm, but otherwise just fine. Curtis, on the other hand, was life-flighted to the hospital and spent the next month in the SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit).

I believe that the original accident report actually recorded it as a fatal car accident. He was in extremely critical condition. He spent the next couple of weeks unresponsive while undergoing several surgeries. There was extensive damage to the abdomen, but the brunt of the injuries resulted as a brain hemorrhage. The bleeding and swelling of the brain became the main focus of everyone involved for the rest of the month. At one point, my sister counted 17 tubes going in and coming out of her husband to keep him alive.

When it became apparent that Curtis was going to survive, he was given a permanent shunt and became a Brain Injury Patient. Then, the rehab began. He spent the next six weeks in Inpatient Rehab. The best was to describe his injuries is to compare it to that of a stroke victim. His spine and spinal cord are intact, but because of the damage done to the brain, he is having difficulty "recognizing" the left side of his body. (He calls his left arm "George". It's good to see he has a sense of humor about it all.)

The miracle is that Curtis was able to come home a few weeks ago. The improvement he made during inpatient rehab was remarkable and truly astonishing. However, the journey is far from over. He is wheelchair bound (for now - we hope and pray). He is still unable to move without assistance. He is working on learning how to speak again, and eat again, and move again. He is on a restricted diet, but desperately needs to gain weight (he is 6'4" and weighs less than me).

Just in case Alexie wasn't positive that she knew the real meaning of "Trials," Max broke his leg the day that Curtis came home from the hospital. This was on my watch, and I could not feel more terrible. So, she brought her husband home for the first time in 2 1/2 months only to turn around, drive back to Primary's and spend the night with Max. The break was high up on his femur, so both of his legs are in a cast just to make sure that it is completely immobilized. Here is my sweet, strong, beautiful sister (six months pregnant) with two people who are unable to move without her help.

We never know how high we are

Till we are called to rise;

And then, if we are true to plan,

Our statures touch the skies-

- Emily Dickinson

I just want to say what a truly sweet experience this has been. I think that one of the reasons people stand up in Sacrament Meeting and express gratitude for their trials is because when you are in the depths, the Lord opens his heart even more and pours out miracles. You have to look for these miracles because sometimes they can be difficult to see through the surgeries, beeping life-support machines, insurance claims, utility bills, injuries, tears, sleepless nights, pain, and frustration. But I have watched as my sister and her family has been blessed by so much love and generosity. I have watched Curtis and Alexie dig really deep when they were sure that the "well was empty" to find strength and courage and perseverance that they didn't know existed. I have experienced quiet, personal moments with Curtis and Alexie and have felt the love of our Savior so deeply. I have felt that Alexie and I (and all my siblings) were sent to our amazing parents and to each other for very specific purposes. Old wounds have been healed as we have recommitted ourselves to seeing the best in each other and being so full of gratitude to have each other. I have watched as hundreds of people have come out of the woodwork to do their part to ease the burden. It has been nothing short of incredible and our family has been blessed by an outpouring of unconditional love.

Some days, we all find the wisdom, courage, and strength to actually hit that curve ball. A lot of days, we miss it and have to get back in that batters box to wait for the next pitch. Most of the time, we are just trying to put a smile on our face and be grateful that we get to play the game.

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and trilling burst of speed. The trick is the thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

- Gordon B. Hinckley

Alexie has written about the accident in great detail on her private blog. She has written almost daily if you want to read about the last three months in greater depth. If you are interested, please email me and I will get you an invite.