Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Parable of the Curve Ball

*adapted from my dad's testimony last month.

When a batter steps up to the plate, he/she never knows what type of pitch is coming. One of the most difficult pitches to hit is the curve ball. The curve ball is thrown with spin so that its path curves as it approaches the batter. Hence, a pitch may look like it is headed in one direction and unexpectedly change paths. A good hitter can judge the curve ball by following the spin as it leaves the pitcher's hand. By following the threads of the baseball, the batter can anticipate the break and make adjustments before the curve occurs. However, sometimes God can throw a pitch with a baseball that doesn't have any threads, making it impossible to judge directionality.

On August 1st, this is exactly what happened to my sister and her family. It started out as a typical Sunday, except Alexie (my sister) was just recovering from a stomach bug that had been floating around the family for several weeks. She stayed home while her husband, Curtis, took their two children to his parent's house for dinner. After dinner, they started a movie so it was quite late by the time he left for home. With Abby (4) and Max (2) safely fastened in their car seats, Curtis headed for home. The kids were both asleep within minutes of leaving.

About five minutes from home, Curtis approached an intersection. He slowed due to the red light, but when the light changed to green, he stepped on the gas. In the middle of an intersection, a young girl, talking on her cell phone, ran the red light and smashed directly into Curtis going 40-45 mph. She was not paying attention and did not break. The children were rushed to the hospital, but released the next day with aches and pains and Abby had a broken arm, but otherwise just fine. Curtis, on the other hand, was life-flighted to the hospital and spent the next month in the SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit).

I believe that the original accident report actually recorded it as a fatal car accident. He was in extremely critical condition. He spent the next couple of weeks unresponsive while undergoing several surgeries. There was extensive damage to the abdomen, but the brunt of the injuries resulted as a brain hemorrhage. The bleeding and swelling of the brain became the main focus of everyone involved for the rest of the month. At one point, my sister counted 17 tubes going in and coming out of her husband to keep him alive.

When it became apparent that Curtis was going to survive, he was given a permanent shunt and became a Brain Injury Patient. Then, the rehab began. He spent the next six weeks in Inpatient Rehab. The best was to describe his injuries is to compare it to that of a stroke victim. His spine and spinal cord are intact, but because of the damage done to the brain, he is having difficulty "recognizing" the left side of his body. (He calls his left arm "George". It's good to see he has a sense of humor about it all.)

The miracle is that Curtis was able to come home a few weeks ago. The improvement he made during inpatient rehab was remarkable and truly astonishing. However, the journey is far from over. He is wheelchair bound (for now - we hope and pray). He is still unable to move without assistance. He is working on learning how to speak again, and eat again, and move again. He is on a restricted diet, but desperately needs to gain weight (he is 6'4" and weighs less than me).

Just in case Alexie wasn't positive that she knew the real meaning of "Trials," Max broke his leg the day that Curtis came home from the hospital. This was on my watch, and I could not feel more terrible. So, she brought her husband home for the first time in 2 1/2 months only to turn around, drive back to Primary's and spend the night with Max. The break was high up on his femur, so both of his legs are in a cast just to make sure that it is completely immobilized. Here is my sweet, strong, beautiful sister (six months pregnant) with two people who are unable to move without her help.

We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Our statures touch the skies-
- Emily Dickinson

I just want to say what a truly sweet experience this has been. I think that one of the reasons people stand up in Sacrament Meeting and express gratitude for their trials is because when you are in the depths, the Lord opens his heart even more and pours out miracles. You have to look for these miracles because sometimes they can be difficult to see through the surgeries, beeping life-support machines, insurance claims, utility bills, injuries, tears, sleepless nights, pain, and frustration. But I have watched as my sister and her family has been blessed by so much love and generosity. I have watched Curtis and Alexie dig really deep when they were sure that the "well was empty" to find strength and courage and perseverance that they didn't know existed. I have experienced quiet, personal moments with Curtis and Alexie and have felt the love of our Savior so deeply. I have felt that Alexie and I (and all my siblings) were sent to our amazing parents and to each other for very specific purposes. Old wounds have been healed as we have recommitted ourselves to seeing the best in each other and being so full of gratitude to have each other. I have watched as hundreds of people have come out of the woodwork to do their part to ease the burden. It has been nothing short of incredible and our family has been blessed by an outpouring of unconditional love.

Some days, we all find the wisdom, courage, and strength to actually hit that curve ball. A lot of days, we miss it and have to get back in that batters box to wait for the next pitch. Most of the time, we are just trying to put a smile on our face and be grateful that we get to play the game.

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and trilling burst of speed. The trick is the thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
- Gordon B. Hinckley

Alexie has written about the accident in great detail on her private blog. She has written almost daily if you want to read about the last three months in greater depth. If you are interested, please email me and I will get you an invite.

6 comments:

Madeline Shaffer said...

Beautiful post!

Shauna said...

Thank you for sharing your sisters story. I've been wondering how she and her family have been doing. I hope your BIL continues to improve. It's heartbreaking to even think of the things this family has had to face. Our prayers and thoughts are with them.

Angie said...

Hi Emily--Wow, I'm sorry for everything your family has been through. But good for you for seeing the glass half full. Thinking of you.

Anne Gould said...

Love you Emily. Thanks for posting.

Marianne said...

Thanks for sharing. I also have been wondering how they were doing. Our prayers are with them.

Paskins Family said...

I am sorry to hear about Alexie's family. I hope things get better soon. Prayers from the Paskins