You get excited when you go to the mailbox and there is a package addressed to you. How about that thrill that goes up your spine when you open the door to see the UPS guy waving politely as he runs back to his truck only to look down and see happiness wrapped up in brown goodness on your doormat?!?
Well, today, my husband walked in the door after some meetings carrying the weekly grocery store ads, ads for the bazillion President's Day sales, a few bills, a baby shower invitation, a second birthday card from my Grandma (she forgot that she already gave me one three weeks ago), and a brown package.
My eyes passed by all the "regular" stuff, and I said, "What's in the package?"
Greg said, "I don't know. It's addressed to you."
He mused while he found a knife to open it up: "What did you order that you forgot about?"
My mind was racing. This is so exciting! I don't remember ordering anything. Maybe somebody sent me a late birthday present, or maybe I did order something and put it out of my mind. This was nearly as thrilling as finding a $20 bill in your winter coat the first time you wear it in November only to realize that you left it there the past March.
With wild anticipation, Greg turned back the flaps of the box for the big reveal:
Right now, you are probably asking yourself, "Is that what I think it is?"
Allow me: Why yes, that is exactly what you think it is. 72 to be exact (12 packages of 6), along with a lifetime supply of lubricant. The invoice simply stated, "Undercover Condoms."
I have no idea where they came from. (I immediately suspected several mom's from my son's school class trying to send Greg and I a not-so-subtle hint.)
This intensely funny situation turned somber when we realized that they were ordered from my credit card number and will be classified as a "Fraud charge." At least we don't have to pay the $103 for the year's supply of birth control. Too bad my Identity Thief didn't make a purchase on "Incognito Diamonds" or "Confidential Corvettes."
Now I have no credit card.
But I do have a size-able donation to make to Planned Parenthood that should be tax deductible.
What did you receive in the mail today???