I'm Grateful For...

I decided that it's time to start up my Grateful section again. This one deserved its own post.

Thursday, May 7th: Greg and I sat on the couch and discussed plans for the upcoming weekend. We decided that after my doctor appointment the following day, that we would stop at the Nursery and buy plants, seeds, and manure needed to get the garden going. We would drive to my parents house, pick up the tiller (you know - the one that crossed the plains with my ancestors; okay, it's not that old - but close), and we would spend Saturday preparing the soil and planting our garden. We discussed what we would like to plant this year and where to try to fit everything into our small yard.

Saturday, May 9th: Kade decided it was simply too stressful living inside my body, so instead of planting our garden, we decided to bring two little boys into this world. They have consumed every waking minute since.

A week or two after we had been home from the hospital, my parents decided they needed a service project. They chose me. Knowing that fresh tomatoes, carrots, zucchini, and corn make me happier than Christmas morning, they showed up on my doorstep with plants in hand, tiller in the back of the Tahoe, and my brother as Worker #3.

Today, I am grateful to my mom, my dad, and my brother for doing what I could not. I'm also grateful for Greg for staying on top of the weeding and maintaining our small but happy garden. I have been reaping the rewards for several weeks now.

Tonight, with the use of 13 fresh tomatoes, I made this:

My house smelled of just the perfect blend of garlic, onions, and tomatoes. My heart was happy. For information on how to make the marinara sauce, go here.

Afterward, I used this:

To make this:

For information on how to make the cake, go here. For information on how to make the adorable children, go here.

Monday, September 18th: Greg and I sat on the couch and discussed our many blessings. We were actually talking about a family crisis (or two) and our role in helping to ease the burden a bit. Then we talked about how we have spent the past several months swimming as hard as we can just to keep our heads above water. This was not a discussion full of self-pity; we laughed as we discussed our survival techniques and creativity. Twice last week, I woke up about 2:30 in the morning to find that we had fallen asleep in mid-conversation with several lights on (and Greg's contacts still in). As I sleepily wandered around the house in the middle of the night, turning off lights, locking doors, starting the dishwasher, and flushing toilets (seems like that always needs to be done), I thought about how we are exhausted, but in the best possible way. I can't think of any other way I'd rather be expending my energy. Ironically, challenges have a way of highlighting our many blessings.

Thank you to everyone who has sought a service project and thought of my family over the past several months. We have felt so much charity and Christlike love enter our home. Thank you for helping so willingly and sharing your love with us. I truly am grateful for all the good, good people in my life.

How do I love thee, Let me count the ways...

I took Spencer and Kade in for their 4 month check up yesterday. Kade weighed in at 11 pounds 14 ounces and 23 1/4 inches. Spencer came in at 12 pounds 2 ounces and 24 3/4 inches. I really thought Spencer would weigh a lot more. He just seems so much bigger than Kade. Even the nurse was surprised. She thought he would be about a pound bigger. (They got shots and Kade didn't even cry. We just watched him, waiting for that wail, but it never came. Crazy!)

Anyway...I wanted to see how they were doing in comparison to my other children at four months. Amazingly, both Austin and Macy weighed exactly the same (12 pounds 13 ounces), but I couldn't find where I wrote down Paige's information. Back when I was not the mother of 5, I had calendars for each baby for the first year of their lives. Every day (or almost), I would jot down something that happened - either something that they accomplished or something fun or just a tender moment. I noticed that I quit about four months with Paige, but that was also the time that I started my blog. So, I went back to the beginning to see if I documented Paige's information. I didn't.

It was just about bedtime, so my kids were swarming around me with toothbrushes in their mouths and books in their hands and Greg was giving me the "Why do you have to do that right now?!?" look (it comes with rolled eyes and exasperated sighs). I was having a blast reading through the past two years. A few posts I remembered without reading, most of them came back to me as I read them or saw a picture, and some of them seemed totally new to me (like the time when Macy told me that she was so upset she would "never laugh again"). I fell in love with my blog, with everybody's comments, and especially with my life all over again.

Although I really enjoy writing, I was never very good at keeping a consistent journal. My blog has enabled me to do just that. I print off the posts and put them in a binder so that I have an electronic copy and a paper copy. I try to be very honest and write about the good times and the trying times. If my kids (and maybe their kids) really do read this one day, I want them to know that I am very much human. I find one-dimensional blogs so transparent (either way: too depressing and self-loathing or so blissfully happy).

So today I am grateful for blogger. I know that not as many people are blogging these days, but just reading through my 2007 archives makes me realize how much I truly love blogging and I should keep doing it. It is good therapy for me and a perfect spot for me to document our memories. I love you blogger.com!!!

While I'm documenting...Here is an update of my boys at four months:

Loves: Being held, swings, bouncers, cooing when spoken to, grabbing mom's hair, watching their mobile, baths, being outside, the ceiling fan, watching Baby Einstein videos (my life-saver), rolling completely over and over and over (Spencer), sleeping on tummy (Spencer), rolling on side (Kade), kisses on chin and neck, binks, sucking on fingers (Kade), sleeping with Mom, scratching his head (Kade), holding their hands together

Dislikes: Being left alone, messy diapers, having their eyes cleaned out (Kade), lotion, walking downstairs (Spencer - he gets all tight, puts his arms out, and cries), loud noises

Kade getting tortured with lotion by Paige:

New this month: I have had both boys sleeping in their bouncers on the kitchen table. I wrap them up tightly, buckle them up, and turn on the bounciness. This month, since Spencer tries to roll out of the bouncer, we moved both boys into the crib. I realized that I created two bouncer monsters. They fought the crib for the first week, but are getting so much better. We just put them down with a pacifier, cover them with a blanket, and turn on the mobile. They are such good boys and generally go to sleep. Sometimes, in the night, they'll wake up because one of them has turned around is is kicking the other one in the head (just like the womb). They generally skip one feeding in the night and go about six hours. We've also started going on more walks. I put one baby in the wrap and one in the double stroller with Paige. We've LOVED getting out!

Nicknames: Bence (coined by Paige), Mr. Spence, Spenceter

Kadester, Kincade

My favorite things: The constant cooing and the way they smile with their entire bodies. They get so excited and kick their legs, arch their back, fling out their arms, and smile! I love you Spencer and Kade!

Manna

The other morning, as I lay in bed feeding a baby (not sure which one), my mind contemplated the Israelites. I thought about the fact that they wandered for 40 years in the wilderness, and every day, manna fell from heaven. The people gathered the manna and ate what they needed - no more, no less. Every morning, without fail, the Lord provided.

One of my concerns, when I first found out that I was having twins, was the strength (or lack of strength) of my body. Although I was once told (by a well-intentioned gynecologist) that I have "excellent birthing hips," my body simply was not made for baby-making. I won't bore you with all of the details, but one of them has to do with the lack of breast milk. With my first three babes, I tried everything to increase my milk supply. When Macy (my child who refused the bottle) actually lost weight between her six and nine-month checkups, the doctor said, "Some women have cream; you have water." When I did stop nursing her, I quit cold turkey and didn't feel engorged at all! My body simply does not produce well.

Early on in my pregnancy with Spencer and Kade, I was caught up in my many worries about the daunting task of twins. Even with the use of miracle medication, my body could hardly grow one baby, how on Earth was it suppose to grow two??? My answer: The Lord will provide. That early morning, listening to the birds wake up and watching the sun creep over the valley, I understood that my increased lactation was just another way that the Lord was providing for my babes.

Just like manna, every three hours, my body creates the sustenance needed for these babies. After feeding two starving children, I feel completely depleted and I look like I have two empty balloons hanging from my chest. Amazingly, while I go about my normal duties, without even noticing it, I gradually fill up to the point of bursting just about the time that desperate, hungry cries cause the milk to drop. I produce just the right amount to feed my babies - no more, no less.

I hardly think I could stand on the pulpit and bear testimony of the miracle of lactation, but every time I see one of those searching little mouths start to suckle, my faith is renewed. Our bodies are miraculous (I should love mine more). The Lord thought of everything...everything! The Lord will provide - He does provide.

Just look what that milk has done to my boy's cheeks (4 months tomorrow). Oh, and I think that the Lord may have forgotten to give them each a neck. Oh well, minor detail.

p.s. They found each other tonight. They were on the floor, and for the first time, they caught each other's eyes and started a conversation. They were cooing and squeaking while reaching out with their arms and kicking their legs in excitement. It was beyond adorable!

Bigs

Have you ever noticed that families develop their own language. As children learn to speak, they come up with words that replace the real words, and families start to use these words all the time. My children have done this. Austin called his pacifier a "Ba-da." Macy called nipples "knuckles." Macy also calls all hair bows/clips/elastics "Pretties." And now Paige has added a new word to our vocabulary: "Bigs," and it is used to reference pajamas.

These are Bigs:

These are Bigs:

These are also Bigs:

These are not Bigs:

Paige loves to wear Bigs to bed. Every night, you can find Greg or I (or even Austin and Macy) coercing Paige into some Bigs. I bet she has only worn shorts to bed a handful of times this summer. Even when the temperature doesn't dip lower than the 80s, she just prefers her Bigs.

Oh, and after two-and-a-half years of life, this happened yesterday: