Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thankful 4: 41+

When I started the list, I had no idea it would turn into three separate posts. I just thought I could make a quick list, but then I realized how there is really so much. We had some fabulous talks in church last Sunday about being grateful "in all things," and not just for the good things. They talked a lot about how blessings can be trials as well. I've thought a lot about what that means and how I can be thankful for my trials and the trials of our family have been blessings. I've come to realize that a lot of the things on my "good things" list can also easily be a part of my "trials" list. It is all about perspective. For instance, some days, my five children are my greatest blessings, other times, my five children are my greatest trials.

Our wonderful Bishop posted this on Facebook today with his comment of "Isn't is amazing how our perspectives are changed for the better when we allow gratitude to permeate our hearts!":

"Mercies and blessings come in different forms-sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, 'Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.' D&C 59:7; All things means just that: good things, difficult things-not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love." - Bonnie D. Parkin

Without getting too personal over the Internet, on this Thanksgiving Day, I really want to express gratitude for the trials that I've experienced over the past year. So, while being somewhat vague to protect the innocent (wink, wink), here we go:
  • I am grateful that we have a home that could accomodate a few extra occupants part of the year. I'm grateful that my boys have a cousin that is more like a brother (they all love each other and sometimes they want to strangle each other). I'm grateful to spend winter evenings with my sister. It was nice to have an extra hand to help fold laundry, laugh at ridiculous TV shows, and just talk about our day. I'm grateful that we were able to laugh at a lot of situations (like when Lisa and Greg "solved crimes together").
  • I am grateful for forgiveness. I am grateful that Lisa has forgiven me for my outbursts, frustration, and passionate reactions while living in such close quarters. I am grateful that my kids forgive me daily for my shortcomings as a mother. I am especially grateful to be a member of a marriage where apologies and true forgiveness is a daily act. I am grateful to be married to a man who can easily see the best in me and quickly forgive my shortcomings.
  • I am grateful for repentance. I greatly appreciate how difficult it is to change. I have developed bad habits over the years, and I have to repent of the same thing on a regular basis. I am grateful to have a testimony of the Atonement. I am grateful for faith and hope in the belief that eventually I will be able to overcome my bad habits, by temper, and my inability to love unconditionally. I'm grateful for a husband, family, and friends who are patient and accept my apologies. I'm grateful for loving Heavenly Father for His love and patience.
  • I am grateful to have grown up in a ward family that fasted on behalf of my family. I am grateful to feel the faith and love of hundreds of people in order to strengthen our family. It was such a humbling and loving experience.
  • I am grateful for the incredible ward members and friends of both of my sisters who have stepped in and helped when it was just too overwhelming for our own little family to accomplish everything that needed to get done. I have learned so much by watching how others serve our family.
  • I am grateful that I have found some answers as to how my body works and what I can do to be more healthy. There have been ups and downs as I have experimented, but I am becoming more educated and that is always a blessing.
  • I am grateful for modern medicine and how it has blessed my family. It has given us hope and helped several people better cope with their situations. I had a really dangerous, scary experience with some powerful medication this year. It made me more compassionate toward people that become addicted to dangerous substances. I realized how we have to be so careful to listen to our own body and take the initiative to speak up if something doesn't seem right. I am grateful for good friends and family for their patience and speaking up on my behalf.
  • I am grateful for my shortcomings (that is so difficult to write). There is nothing like having five kids to bring out every one of those shortcomings every single day. I am grateful that my husband is able to compensate for my shortcomings.
  • I am grateful that I have been given opportunities to do things that are really scary and difficult. I don't like it when people don't like me. I have spent nearly my entire adult live overcoming my need to say "yes" to everything and try to please everyone. I have made enemies, and yet I have been able to stand up for what I believe is right and voice my convictions. It took a lot of prayer and self-induced-pep-talks and encouragement from Greg, but I am grateful for these opportunities. I have grown.
  • I am grateful for my body. I'm grateful for the health issues I've been given, but I'm mostly grateful that I am healthy and strong - for the most part. I'm grateful that, over the years, I have found ways to deal with some of my health issues. I'm grateful for my bad back because it forces me to exercise which is good for my emotional health. It also forces me to know my limits (which has never been easy for me). I'm even learning to be grateful for the trivial with my body. I look at pictures, and that person in the picture seems to look older than I feel. But I'm grateful for all the lines on my face - I've earned them. I'm grateful for the love handles (also very difficult to write) because I came by them as a result of having children.
  • I am grateful for the opportunity to be there when Coleman was born. I know it was hard for my sister and her husband, and it has been a blessing/trial for my sister to have to take care of an entire family and a baby. I am grateful that he was born when he was.
  • I am grateful to have learned a little better how to listen to the voice of the Spirit (still working on figuring it all out). I've learned just as much from the times I didn't listen as when I did. It is something I really want to learn how to do better, and I'm grateful that I have been given time to figure it out.
  • I am grateful that I was given five loud, energetic, opinionated, independent children. I have heard stories about kids that are meek and shy and believe anything their parents tell them; no such children abide in my home. I am grateful for the challenge of figuring them out and making constant adjustments to help them, teach them, and love them.
Even though I have been incredibly long-winded these past few days, I am grateful for a week of considering all of my blessings. At dinner today, I realized how Thanksgiving is the perfect introduction to the Christmas holiday season. How brilliant that we start a season where we celebrate the birth of Christ, where charity and love increases (but also has the potential to become a selfish time), with a holiday devoted to counting our blessings. I have counted so many, and have thought of dozens more that haven't been written.

I am thankful.

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