IKEA and Facebook

The first time I walked into IKEA, we were looking for a dresser for Austin's room.  We walked in, grabbed a cart, and started on the little walkway on the second floor.  At first, it was fascinating to see all the adorable, staged rooms, and I caught myself pondering what it would be like to live in a 340 square foot apartment in the middle of Manhattan.  Ten years ago, before my husband and bazillion children, I could picture myself being so IKEA chic.  However, as we walked deeper into the store, I felt like I was getting swallowed in the abyss.  I became so overwhelmed that I couldn't even think straight.  Even when we got to the "Dresser Section," there were so many options that I became incapable of answering simple yes and no questions.  I'm not much of a shopper anyway (I do it out of obligation - not enjoyment), so we left without purchasing anything and I felt like I was in a haze.

Sometimes I get like this with certain restaurant menus.  If there are too many selections, it's as if my mind forgot how to read.  I can't seem to zero in on one section and calmly maneuver my way through the options.

This is how Facebook is for me.  I set up an account a while ago because people wanted me to be their friend.  How flattering!  My friends (that I speak to and interact in real life) also want to be my friends (so we can speak and interact in cyberspace as well).  It was so much pressure to be popular.  So, I reluctantly set up an account, and for some reason my birthday is stuck at January 1, 1936 - which isn't entirely accurate - and my Profile Picture is still a light blue silhouette of a young man.  After the flattery wore off (and I realized that I only have about 20 cyberfriends and some people have hundreds - a reality check on my lack of popularity), those overwhelming feelings set in again.  

Now when I open my Facebook page, I feel like I'm 30 minutes into my initial IKEA experience.  All of a sudden, there are friend requests and several people commenting on different aspects of their day with several other people commenting on their comments.  I feel as if I'm at a very crowded party and I can't seem to join just one conversation because there are about 12 of them going on around me.  There are obligatory quiz's to take, Top 5 Movies, Top 5 Restaurants, Top 5 Science Museums.  Then, the endless tags.  People tagging pictures, tagging comments, tagging ex-boyfriends.  It's much too much for me.  Information overload.

And you can just forget about twittering.  We don't even have texting on our cell phones.  We still get charged 20 cents for every text.  We are so two years ago!

Moral of the Story: I am a terrible Facebook Friend, but if you want to get together for lunch and some real conversation and laughter - I'm your girl.  Let's just not meet at IKEA.