The last minute or two of the first half, there were several calls in a row that went in favor of Oklahoma and they were able to cut the Utah lead to six going into halftime. Even with a strong lead, the Utes left the court looking a little deflated. Then the second half started. It seriously looked like Utah was playing with lead shoes. They were slow, sloppy, and just so very sad and frustrated. The other team looked like little bees buzzing all over the court. They were quick! They were getting the rebounds and driving the ball down the court with purpose. As I was noticing this, Greg leaned over to me and commented on how fast the other team looked. It was glaringly obvious that Utah was getting out-played and it seemed like they didn't even care. They just started scrambling to get any shot off. As a result, they turned the ball over - a lot! But, the next time down the stretch, they made the same mistakes over and over again.
Behind us sat a very passionate fan (and by "passionate" I mean incredibly annoying). As I sat there listening to him scream "Defense" in time with a little picture of a D and then a picture of a fence flashing on the screen, I noticed specks of spit flying over my head onto my lap.
This is exactly how I've felt lately.
I feel like the world is whizzing past me. People are busily going about their lives with great purpose and meaning. They are succeeding, and succeeding happily. I used to be one of those people (like the Utes at the end of the 1st half) who could plow through anything, even if there was opposition, with great optimism and purpose. I felt confident in my ability to figure things out and find a way through. I believed in the promise that I would come out stronger and things would work themselves out if I just did everything possible in my power and did it the best I could. I had faith and trust in the process, even if going through it was difficult. But lately, for no apparent reason, I'm just not dealing with people and life very well. I wake up in the morning with the goal to just survive. I eventually force myself out of bed, and I occasionally even change out of my robe and slippers. I have a list of things to do in my head, but find that it is just too difficult to accomplish them. I just want to "get through." I know the mistakes I'm making, but I just keep making them over and over again.
And sometimes, I even feel spit upon.
For the record, the Utes did fight back. They were able to force the game into overtime, but were unable to make a foul shot to save their lives. They ended up losing the game, but not after putting in a strong effort the last few minutes. I know that I have to fight back as well. I need to dig deep and find that strength that I know is in me to pull out of my funk. I need to put the effort into changing my attitude and finding that great purpose again. I know I can try harder. I know exactly where I need to turn and what I need to do.
After all, about half the seats were empty. I could have easily moved to another seat to avoid the spit.
