A Monday Sampler

Can I just say how much I LOVED Conference this year?!? It was exactly what I needed. I especially love how certain speakers can touch the hearts of different individuals. There were so many talks that I truly enjoyed. But Elder Bednar's talk spoke to my soul.

Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard when it seems like I'm the only one who cares (including my husband, at times). I feel like much of my families reaction to me is (with rolled eyes), "Just suck it up and do it so Mom doesn't get upset." But, after listening to Elder Bednar's talk, especially the part where one of his boys complained about his brother "breathing his air" during FHE, I felt renewed. I just need to be consistent and loving, and hopefully the cumulative effect will be a positive one.

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As mothers, do you ever realize how often your kids step on your toes. I'm speaking literally here. My kids are always stepping on my toes, usually when they have shoes on and I don't. Sometimes, it really hurts.

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Paige is really into playing "pretend family" lately. She is the mom, Dad is the "honey" (translation: child), I am "Jen," and Spencer and Kade become "Chase" and "Cash." Then, her doll is generally Pence (Spence). I watched her take care of her Spence the other day. She really is quite a good little mommy. She fed him the remaining half-ounce out of the real Spencer's bottle (and wiped up the milk mess afterward because Pretend Spence's mouth doesn't actually open to drink the real milk). She changed diapers, wrapped him up in a blanket, gave him kisses and sang a little song, then put him in the swing for a nap. I was hoping that she would then go into the kitchen and start on the dishes or grab the scrubber and start on the toilet, but instead she picked up her cell phone and called Taelyn for a little chat. Hmmm...

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I found this note in Austin's backpack the other day (I blocked out the actual address). Austin is oblivious. When I asked him about Megan, he spoke about her in the same vein as Parker or Kaeden.

I also sat through an entire dinner conversation the other day when Maddie and Macy were talking about the boys that are "so cute" in their class. Braxton is Macy's boyfriend. She also thinks that Bryce is cute, but Braxton is just "so cute." Is this supposed to happen in Kindergarten? I thought I had a few more years? I'm sure Braxton is oblivious as Austin, but Macy clearly has her first serious crush. I think it may be crushing her dad.

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I totally got sucked into the Yankee/Angels game Saturday night and went to bed way, way too late. I was lying on the couch, unable to move. I could hardly keep my eyes open. Greg suggested (several times) that I should go to bed. But for some reason, it was really, really important that I knew the outcome of that game. The drama of live baseball just caught me. I really love baseball! I can't believe after all of it that the Angels lost! And on such a silly error. I love rooting for the underdog (and anyone who plays against the Yankees)!

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Macy's new compliment: Mom, you are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!

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I watched Stephanie Nielsen (Nie Nie) on Oprah a few weeks ago. I think she is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G! I wished that Oprah would have dug a little deeper into her inner strength and beliefs. One way that Stephanie has inspired me is to take more pride in dinner for my family. I have tried so hard lately to put my heart and soul into preparing meals for my family. Although they are consumed far too quickly, or not at all (food is simply pushed around the plate), it is something that I am trying to do for my family because I want to show them more love. Sometimes I get it right; sometimes I don't. Sometimes we have a mealtime full of laughter and chattiness; sometimes we are rushed and grumpy. But, we are trying and I am grateful to Stephanie and her family for being so open and sharing their examples.

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A couple of weeks ago, I walked past a mirror and caught a glimpse of myself. I was carrying a baby (not sure which one) in my arms. He was facing me and I was kissing his head. I stopped and looked at myself for a minute, then I kissed his head again. The last month or so has been difficult. I have felt so irritable and disconnected. Disconnected with friends. Disconnected with my husband. Definitely disconnected with my kids. I have felt like a robot - a grumpy robot. We have been doing what we "are supposed to do" again. We've reinstated a lot of things that dropped off when the twins were born. Family scripture study (pretty darn regularly - as in every night), family prayer (sometimes it feels like we pray all day long), and even regular Family Home Evening. And I haven't felt much of the promised blessings yet. If anything, I've felt even more contention.

But, that glimpse in the mirror has stayed with me. It comes back often. When I am cradling a crying spell, or holding Paige on my lap to read a night-night story, or wrapping towels around wet, clean little bodies. I think a baby in my arms definitely improves my appearance. I love having these little ones with me. How can I enjoy my family and my kids more? What am I missing?