Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.
- Shel Silverstein
The past few weeks, I have been looking forward to this day. I felt like my kids definitely needed the opportunity to miss each other again (the Summer bickering got a little too much for me). But now, I am looking at these pictures with tears running down my face wondering when this happened? How is it possible to have a third-grader (by the way, that isn't a gang sign he's flashing - I asked him to hold up three fingers so we would know what grade he's in)? When did my little blond bombshell decide to be a fiercely independent Kindergartner? When did time speed up? What have I given them? Why haven't I let more go and just loved them and enjoyed them? Why haven't I laughed more? What happened to those chubby cheeks, and why didn't I kiss them more when I had them? How much time do I have left? How will I use that time? How can I enjoy them more?
I want three things for my kids:
- I want them to have a love of learning. I want this desire to be almost unquenchable. Whatever their interest, whatever their passion, they will find joy in learning.
- I want them to be happy. I want them to enjoy their childhood and have enough time to just "be kids". I want them to pretend, explore, and discover...daily. I want them to smile and laugh. "Men are that they might have joy." Today, after I dropped Macy off, Paige tried to convince me that she was 5 and not 2 (she wanted to go to school too). All I could think was "Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, little girl. Enjoy this time."
- Most importantly: I want them to live a good life. I want them to be good friends, good brothers, good sisters, good neighbors. I want them to find the joy in living selflessly. I want them to get to know their Savior on a personal basis. I want them to be actively involved in good causes. I want to see their individual talents used in a way to lift others and bring joy to their lives and the lives of others.
I want one thing for myself: To have enough patience and energy to treat my kids with all the love and respect that they deserve. To truly "listen" to the Spirit to help me know what's best for them, and to truly "listen" to my children (not only their words, but their emotions and needs as well). (I guess that's more than one. Oh well, I'm having a guilt-ridden day. I just need to do better - No excuses!)
6 comments:
I'm struggling just to put Kathryn in preschool for a few hours a day. I'm such a wimp.
We had a tough week. Trying to juggle school, mommy, wife, housekeeper, etc. It is a tough world. It also makes me sad that we start school and Cash immediately gets sick (yes, it was last Wednesday night when we starting having trouble). Hopefully I can learn to juggle better so I won't miss Cash growing up.
Ohhh, my first week of school, is not what it should have been. Today, James would have started school. Today, I watched the school bus drive by my house with all the anxiously engaged children heading off to learn. My heart hurt, but only a little. In my heart, I knew, he didn't need the earthly education that we all need. I was grateful that he didn't have to go through all the ridicule and social frustrations children have to endure. Part of me was grateful I didn't have to send him away to school today, I sent him away 3 years ago and have gotten used to it. I wish I had a kindergartner. Spencer is beyond ready, and the poor child has 2 years because of missing the dead line. I am a bit envious of all you moms of kindergartners. But, I am trying my mightiest to be happy for you, and for me, knowing my James is far smarter than even I, his mother, and didn't need this mortal experience to learn. I am just rambling now. Just so many things in my mind and heart. I miss him. I wish I could send him to Kindergarten. I know I just contradicted my previous statement, but I just couldn't resist recognizing my deep desire to have him here.
Your kids look really big and I just saw them. I wish that you would have taken my front porch pictures! So cute.
I would love a GNO. The girls in my ward do them, but I can't bring myself to go. I would rather go with you and Jen. Surprisingly, I am doing better the last few days than I have in the past few months. Let's plan a time. We could go for Jen's birthday. I know it's coming up soon. Loves: And, thanks for being worried.
I would love to get Mary and Paige together some time. Mary desperately wants to go to school too. EVERY DAY she is upset all over again that she's not old enough.
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